First Love? (ON GOING)

I always dream of a not so perfect relationship but at least of a one true love ..
I never had any experience about relationship , because I guess its true about my friends are telling me , I am one great pihikan .. well I keep saying no because I just don't want my first love to be ruin .
I never dream to have lot of boyfriends but
I dream to spend many years to my one true love ,

I don't have idea of how to act as a girlfriend ,
how to be sweet ,
how to be a protective girlfriend ,
how to be a jealous girlfriend or should I be jealous for something ?

I am excited to know what will be our monthsary date ,
our endearment , or how many struggles we can go through ,

until he came , the most unexpected person I could ever imagine ,
out of my standard , people around cant imagine too I said yes to him
but I don't care its my heart who chose him ..

it all gave me the idea that being in a relationship resolve every problem , so long were together ,
just he's presence became my strength ,
he's sweet words makes me comfortable ,

until one day
your "I love you's "
your "i miss you "
your sweet smiles that you only invented to me
why am I dying to see it again .
why do I need to cry whenever I misses you ,

why did we end up like this ,
I don't want to hear the word end because I still hope you'll gonna fight for me , but why ?
you cant even look at me ..

I still want you .. pls .