Questions?

I'm young... Confused... Crazy! I can't be controlled. Only she has the power to control me... And she's gone! You wanna know what's going through my head? Fuck you god! Those are the exact words! Don't get me wrong I believe in Him, but he took the most important thing to me! I'm lucky to have my best friend. I know she would do anything for me. I don't deserve her! She deserves better.. That's why I rejected her. And now I'm losing her, because I didn't wanna commit! I'm stupid, I'm a jerk, yet she says she loves me? How? All I know is that I love her back.