Story cover for Be Alright by devandehass
Be Alright
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    LECTURES 3
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    LECTURES 3
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En cours d'écriture, Publié initialement août 21, 2018
Every one has a dream. Wether thats falling in love with a happy family, or staying single with 2 dogs. I don't know what my dream is. I just always wanted to feel happy. To feel alive. To feel free with my self. Some people wake up and live their lives unwarranted to the pains that others feel. Some people don't understand the struggles that others deal with just to get out of bed. Some people can't comprehend that its ok to not be ok. I finally figured it out. I wasn't ok. 

Grab yourself some skittles with popcorn, maybe some tissues. Because this is my story on how I almost killed myself, and found myself in the process of pain, love, and recovering. 









*Trigger warning for those who are sensitive to alcohol abuse, self harm, depression, panic attacks, abuse, and anything similar to what was listed.
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It was October 2023, and my now-ex-fiance had moved out of our trailer for good. I decided to end our relationship and thought I had emotionally moved on from them. I was wrong-dead wrong. What followed them moving out was something I could not have ever thought to experience. I began to experience extreme mood swings, controlling behavior, self-esteem issues, and a new-found addiction to alcohol. This was just the tip of the iceberg, as I was constantly flirting with suicide on a daily basis. I could not begin to even tell you about how I went through an emo phase, a "man hoe" phase, and multiple other phases as well due to my deteriorating mental health. I began to document my everyday life after our split through two separate journals over a twelve-month span. This is the true tale of how a breakup brought me to the realization that I was an abuser and that I became the same monster that I swore not to become as a kid. This is how trauma ruined my life, and how it will ruin yours too.