(Ash's) Rules Of Horror - low-key no pressure - Wattpad

(Ash's) Rules Of Horror

Reads 410
Votes 25
Parts 23
Time <5 mins

Reads 410
Votes 25
Parts 23
Time <5 mins

Mature

funny guidebook horror jokebook jokes rules shortchapters spooky spoopy tips

If you've ever seen a horror movie, you know people are stupid. Like hopelessly stupid. Here's the rules I've come up with so you won't be stupid.
.-.-.-.-.
Mature for language.
Warning! Lots of sarcasm!! And maybe sass.
Explicit language.
See you in the book.All Rights Reserved

funny guidebook horror jokebook jokes rules shortchapters spooky spoopy tips

23 parts

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Have Faith: Life and Times of a Glorious Asshole by iamtotallydeadpool

Screw the cliche stories about heroes and villains. Here's a story narrated by someone else. A smartass. The Anti-Hero. Rude, selfish, and arrogant, Ace Johanna Araya isn't your typical hero. Optimistic, wisecracking, and friendly, she isn't your typical villain, either. After loosing herself in a life of crime; Ace makes the mistake of breaking into the wrong house and ends up under the same roof as a bunch of virtuous Do-Gooders who hunt the supernatural. Of course, she thinks she's just using them for a free place to stay. Little does she know, they're about to get her involved in a lot more than she bargained for. Of course, every story needs its villains, so, two seductively sassy vampires and a sadistic, ageless entity of evil who promises to end life as we know it (no surprise there) come into the mix. Ace will find herself struggling to determine where exactly the line between Good and Evil lies, all the while spewing random innuendos, cracking terrible jokes, and making pop culture references. This is going to be a mess. Inspired by things such as: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Supernatural, John Dies at the End, Constantine, Odd Thomas, Mean Girls, From Dusk Till Dawn, and Deadpool WARNING: The Narrator in this book (Ace) is an egotistical, insensitive, and selfish person. Even the more serious parts will have some comedic input from her and she can tend to be a bit abrasive or offensive. This is, after all, an anti-hero's point of view. This book contains characters of different ethnic backgrounds, races, and sexual orientations. A few will have mental and/or social disorders. So, keep an open mind.

Hashtag Criminal. (Completed) by Roman_renegade

Highest rank #2 in Humor The heat that came from his body made me almost want to embrace him. His breath fanned my face due to our closeness and I parted my lips in attempt to lose the air in my throat. His eyes travelled my actions to my lips and I watched his eyes darkening as they lingered upon them way too long. Biting his own bottom lips, he moved closer to my ear so that only I could hear what he has to say next. "Close that mouth of yours sweetheart unless you want something else inside it." __________________ Getting kidnap is one thing. Getting kidnap while you're on a walk with your grumpy cat who can't stop peeing is another. Feyona and Keyona are twin sisters. Everything about them is identical except their eye colour. What happens when one of the most powerful and cherry-tomato loving, hashtag criminal Sebastian, accidentally kidnaps Feyona instead of Keyona for the reason we're yet to find out. (Contains some mature scenes) NOTE : I HAD WRITTEN THIS BOOK WHEN I WAS A STUPID TEENAGER, SOME PARTS MIGHT MAKE YOU CRINGE AND THERE ARE HELL LOT OF GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

You Are in Hell Boys ✔ by Nadineat2

[Book 2] Imagine this ~ You are walking down the street, holding a bag full of Oreos for your pregnant mom. Everything is peaceful until you are dragged into an old truck. You look up and see five good-looking guys staring at you. Remi Thea McKnight is a sixteen-year-old high school girl. She is sarcastic, funny, and sometimes wise, like her mother, Ariel. Remi has four older brothers, eighteen years old, and a quadruplet. Could history repeat itself? What would Remi do when she gets kidnapped like her mother? ~~~ [NOT EDITED YET] Book 1 - Welcome To Hell Boys. Book 2 - You are in Hell Boys. Book 3 - We'll End Up in Hell Boys. (Highest rank- #3 in Humor in 2017) June 2017 All Rights Reserved

Spericolato by payattentiontoclass

Lilianne was a young girl abused her whole life. What happens when one day she gets kidnapped by her father the Don of the Italian Mafia. She refuses to be the same girl everyone pushed around. She soon meets Ace Luciano a family friend/ Mexican Don and ally but what happens when Ace loses someone he truly loved and tries to see Lilianne as yet another try at love. That all changes when she meets the Boss of the Bosses "El Padrino" Hades Gian Ramos, and he falls head over heals for her. Who gets the happy ending, just one, two, all three or neither? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Who did you wear this for?" He asks, teasingly tracing my body. "You" I say just because I'm aching for his touch. "Wrong answer Amore, never wear anything for a man, just wear it for you but in this case you are wearing this for Us" he whispers huskily in my ear biting my earlobe. "Who are you wearing this for" he asks once again this time he has shorts off and I feel him as our bodies are pressed together.

The Creeps! || Book of Spooky Stories (COMPLETED ✔️) by bl00dbatz

Want your daily fix on classic Facebook chainmail, unpopular urban legends, and ghost stories told by the campfire? Then you came to the right place. "The Creeps! || Book of Spooky Stories" is a daily updated book related to the horror genre. Started: Apr. 22, 2018 Finished: Jul. 7, 2019

We'll End Up in Hell Boys ✔ by Nadineat2

[Book 3] Imagine this ~ You are sitting on your couch, having the nastiest cold ever, when the front door bursts open. You look towards the main entrance and see three men. Strangers. A normal person would scream or run... But not Divana Lane. {This is the third book of the HEll series but you can read it as a stand-alone.} All Rights Reserved

Runaway (slight BDSM) by NikkiBug16

"I don't know who you think you are disrespecting me like that but you're going to regret it," he growls. "Oh, kinky," I purr, causing him to roll his eyes and let out a disappointed sigh. "Put her in the trunk," he says and makes his way to the passenger seat. "Woah at least take me to dinner first." I could've imagined it but I think I heard the bodyguard chuckle before he slammed the top of the trunk, leaving me in total darkness. (Can read the book on its own but there will be characters from the previous book mentioned) ---- *BDSM *Warning of emotional and physical abuse *Warning of sexual content *If any of this is triggering for you, I suggest you read another book Highest ranking #1 in disobedience #1 in funny moments #1 in sassy #1 in poor

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[DISCLAIMER: This story is intended for a mature audience. Reader discretion is advised.] What do you do when danger comes knocking at your front door? You run like the devil himself is chasing you, but you don't stop. And if you fall, you get back up. But you never stop running. That's exactly what I did when an intruder found me home alone on Mischief Night. I ran and ran until my assailant caught me, and made me prisoner to his sinister intentions, forever changing the course of my life on that one bleak night. x Highest Rankings x #2 in Novella #56 in Taboo #73 in Fat #108 in eroticromance #127 in Spooky #136 in Halloween #167 darkromance #428 in Scary #528 in Horror-thriller

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Get ready for 18 thrilling and chilling short horror tales.It's gonna be a spooky wild exciting ride.So grab your blankets and snacks and get cozy and enjoy Ceces book of two sentence horror stories.🕸💀 +TWO SEASONS+ 🕸💀 +18 STORIES+ Mature audience only🕸💀

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Happy Halloween season ya'll! This year I decided to do something I haven't done; and that is to make a book full of spooky stories throughout this month of October. So, ladies and gentleman; hold onto your hats as we ride our way through spooky town! (I know this is a bit late in the October month but all well 😁). ©️ lightgirl01

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Slide 1 of 10

Have Faith: Life and Times of a Glorious Asshole cover

Hashtag Criminal. (Completed) cover

You Are in Hell Boys ✔ cover

Spericolato cover

The Creeps! || Book of Spooky Stories (COMPLETED ✔️) cover

We'll End Up in Hell Boys ✔ cover

Runaway (slight BDSM) cover

Sinister Intentions cover

CECES BOOK OF TWO SENTENCE HORROR STORIES🕸 cover

Halloween 2k17 ✔️ cover

Have Faith: Life and Times of a Glorious Asshole

Screw the cliche stories about heroes and villains. Here's a story narrated by someone else. A smartass. The Anti-Hero. Rude, selfish, and arrogant, Ace Johanna Araya isn't your typical hero. Optimistic, wisecracking, and friendly, she isn't your typical villain, either. After loosing herself in a life of crime; Ace makes the mistake of breaking into the wrong house and ends up under the same roof as a bunch of virtuous Do-Gooders who hunt the supernatural. Of course, she thinks she's just using them for a free place to stay. Little does she know, they're about to get her involved in a lot more than she bargained for. Of course, every story needs its villains, so, two seductively sassy vampires and a sadistic, ageless entity of evil who promises to end life as we know it (no surprise there) come into the mix. Ace will find herself struggling to determine where exactly the line between Good and Evil lies, all the while spewing random innuendos, cracking terrible jokes, and making pop culture references. This is going to be a mess. Inspired by things such as: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Supernatural, John Dies at the End, Constantine, Odd Thomas, Mean Girls, From Dusk Till Dawn, and Deadpool WARNING: The Narrator in this book (Ace) is an egotistical, insensitive, and selfish person. Even the more serious parts will have some comedic input from her and she can tend to be a bit abrasive or offensive. This is, after all, an anti-hero's point of view. This book contains characters of different ethnic backgrounds, races, and sexual orientations. A few will have mental and/or social disorders. So, keep an open mind.