BECAUSE I'M STUPID

BECAUSE I'M STUPID

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WpMetadataReadOngoing<5 mins
WpMetadataNoticeLast published Sat, Aug 25, 2018
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Fiction
Romance
B.S- My heart beat faster than it ever has as i gripped on the steering wheel. I glanced at her sitting on the passenger's seat. Blood dripping down her face from her head as if she had plenty. it suddenly felt so cold that i couldn't help thinking she must be cold too. I turned away. Cowardly tears falling across my cheeks... How could I let this happen to her??? How could it happen to her?? BEEP! BEEP! I looked at front noticing a truck nearby. It didn't seem to be stopping. So did my car.. I reached out to hold her hand. Closing my eyes cowardly for the crash. Never letting go.... J.P- My eyes slowly opened to the huge commotion around me. I could make out a truck and a lot of people all around. A breeze hit my face making me feel cold all over. but something warm had held me. Something warm, soft and wet. I glanced at my hand. Seeing his big hands, enveloping mine. our hands covered in red thick blood. Curves began to form at the sides of my lips. I closed my eyes slowly. Falling into a deep deep sleep. Never letting go....
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Denial

The wail of sirens echoed throughout the hospital as the emergency room doors burst open. Two individuals were being carted in while another gurney was carrying someone draped in a white cloth. It was too late for them. I could just barely hear what the paramedics were yelling to the doctors as they rushed to the operating room. "Car crash. Must have lost control. Both middle aged men. One is Native-American with long black hair and light brown eyes. He has multiple lacerations to the abdomen, his skull was fractured, left knee cap shattered, and internal bleeding." the young man explained. "The other is Caucasian with blonde hair and green eyes. His neck is broken, there are four fractures along his spine, we think his spleen might have burst, and there is a large piece of the car door sticking out of his chest. Possibly the handle. Both are in critical condition. There was a third passenger, but she was gone before we got to them." A louder sob ripped through my chest, my entire body shuddering from the force of it. Tears began streaming down my face faster than I could wipe them off. I wrapped my fingers around my ears the same way I did that night, silently begging the memories to go away. Before I knew it, I was rocking back and forth. "It's all my fault I should've died Should still be here All my fault Should be dead Take me Suffering Can't take it Find your happy place Find your happy place Find your happy place." My body was wracking with sobs. I wanted to stop it but I couldn't. I wasn't strong enough. "I'm so sorry I'm so sorry Should've been me Should've been me Forgive me Please forgive me I'm so sorry I'm so sorry."

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