A young actress navigates the politics of Hollywood in pursuit of a coveted role, all the while dealing with a double life, family, addiction and romance. ...later that night as i rubbed cocoa butter into my skin, i made a list of things i would do to get the part. ANYTHING. you see, i need this part in this movie, it's the one that will make me a BIG STAR. ok, i kind of already am a celebrity but that's all another story. thing is my life's a little crazy right now & there's so much stuff standing in the way. there's FAMILY- of course & then the boyfriend, i'm not sure about that, we'll see. also, i also have this little PILL HABIT, it's just little, really (kind of a secret), then top it all off with some MIND CONTROL but i don't know about that or do i? it's so confusing, all rabbit holes & no rainbows, but the sacrifices- it's worth it, right? Because i want to be a star, i really do. i think. ** This story contains child abuse, sexual assault, drug use, murder and thoughts of suicide. A dark story intended for mature audiences. The story is meant to be read as is, small case was done as a stylistic mode. I notice especially the letter i as in myself reverted to a capital so i will be fixing that. I will be doing another check to find any typos which after a million edits, still appear. Although people have noticed similarities in some of the characters to real people I like to be clear that I first published this story in May of 2016, a couple years before the Weinstein scandal and the #metoo movement.