I Guess, I'm A Sad Sack
  • Reads 6
  • Votes 10
  • Parts 9
  • Time 52m
  • Reads 6
  • Votes 10
  • Parts 9
  • Time 52m
Ongoing, First published Aug 28, 2018
Mature
"I lay alone on my bed and stare up at the ceiling. The slow violin and piano ensemble starts to play in my head. I take a deep breath in and release it as slow as my inner being is breaking every single day. The more I breathe the more it hurts, the more it feels like I'm breaking and the emotions overwhelm me and are about to explode all over. But I fight them, I won't let them show I'm too scared of what might happen if I do." I finish. 

"And what makes you feel this way?" She asks. 

"I don't know, I feel like I'm depressed. But I don't really know what depression feels like. So - I guess I'm just a sad sack." 

~•~ 

No one teaches you how to be a human, we just get dumped on this planet with other people and get told to live. 

Meet Orabelle - she's an average human being, and like all other humans on this planet she's going through "that stage". You know, the sad stage everyone goes through in life eventually. Where life was going so great then all of a sudden you get a wave of confusing, depressing  emotions and a bunch of hurdles thrown your way. 

Well, that's life I guess.
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"I see the world and it seems like I see it so differently than most other people. It makes me really angry most of the time. Especially since no one ever listens to me or what I've got to say. I try to express myself in so many different ways and no one sees it. When I sing a song people will only care about how the music sounds or how much I swore. If I paint, people will see the picture but not the meaning. It seems so obvious to me but everyone just seems to... close their eyes. Or at least shut off their brain. As if I see things they don't. But when they don't listen, how can I communicate that to them? It's so frustrating." Allie is a high school student and has big plans to make the world a better place. But her own head is pitting against her, throwing rocks in her path on a daily basis. Everything seems to be great for a while but what happens when her world suddenly comes crashing down around her? Can she ever recover? A coming-of-age story that deals with mental ilnesses, grief, first loves and family, briefly taps into the subject of religion and will likely enrapture you. Trigger warning: mental illnesses, self harm, death, dealing with grief, mentions of guns and gun control, mentions of cults, mentions of homophobia, dissociation. Names of bands, band members and song titles have been changed but at this point I want to credit mainly Palaye Royale, the band 'Homesick Soldiers' that is mentioned throughout is heavily based off them, but I'm sure if you're familiar with them you would have been able to tell that :)