Angst drabbles
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- Parts 14
These were poems and little works that I wrote in the midst of my unmediated depression back in 2016.
If anyone reads these and relate to them, please know that there are many resources available for you. I will list some below. I was able to find a way out of the darkness and you will too!
Crisis services
24/7 Crisis Hotline: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
988lifeline.org
If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org. Veterans, press 1 when calling.
Crisis Text Line
Text TALK to 741-741 to text with a trained crisis counselor from the Crisis Text Line for free, 24/7
Veterans Crisis Line
Send a text to 838255
Vets4Warriors
SAMHSA Treatment Referral Hotline (Substance Abuse)
1-800-662-HELP (4357)
RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline
1-866-331-9474
The Trevor Project
1-866-488-7386
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Noah (Obsessions in Overdrive #1)
I've always had a feeling that I would die young. Ever since I started pondering on deaths door I've had this feeling. I could care less about the hell and heaven shenanigans, but death. I want it. The end of my life. I want to be in my suit, in my coffin, in the ground and my soul to be gone. I've been waiting for 16 years, yet no sign of death opening his door no matter how many times I ring his doorbell. Yeah, I enjoy thinking about my end. Especially at moments like this... *** #1 physical #1 cuteguys #1 addiction #2 self-esteem *** Started: 7 November 2022 Finished: 18 April 2024Complete
The Words I couldn't Say
This is a place for me to put all the things I wish I said but I just couldn't. These are a way for me to "say" these things without actually saying them to the person I want to. I probably won't ever go back or read any of these because it's like revisiting a bad memory so don't expect much in terms of editing. Also I wouldn't consider this poetry but it is laid out that way. WARNING Talk of depression, suicide, anxiety, and self harm. Don't read if you don't like things like that and may get triggered. I don't mean to cause anyone problems of any sort, but these are the things I feel and can't help. Please keep negativity away as this is a sensitive subject for a lot of people. Thank you. Highest rankings: 99 in sadpoems Highest rankings: 118 in iwannadieComplete
I Want You
Hi, I'm Hallie; I am 17 years old and I went through depression from the Abuse I got from my father. You know the usual, feeling as if you're the only person who won't feel loved in life, that nobody's going to care for you, the one in school that's bullied. The only person who has ever asked if I was okay, was my mother. But that was over eight years ago. Yes I was getting abused by my father for over eight years My appearance is different from what you may think. I have long brown hair, grey eyes like my mother's, I'm kind of tan, my height is 5'3. Yes, I am short as well. I'm half Irish, a third Italian and half German. One thing is certain though, I was a burden to everybody who has ever spoken to me. I have no friends and basically this all changed due to me being late for school one day.... ▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️ 𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜~ -Mature scenes -Abuse -Sexual Assault -Drugs -Alcohol -Mention of Suicide -SelfHarm -Violence ▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️ If you are ever having any issue with Self-Harm, a friend is or your just worried about someone. These are some places you can contact. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline- 1800-273-8255 Mobile Crisis Line- 704-566-3410 The Crisis Text Line- 741-741 Domestic Violence Hotline- 800-799-7233 Text START to 88788Complete
The End Of The Road
Poetry for the dead and dying. For the ones just done trying. Here's the words for you. It's a bloody dream come true. I can't promise it'll help you get through. But if your mind is dark It'll leave its mark It'll make your bleeding heart Just that much more torn apart To see me With my sadness open and deep And all my secrets for you to keep Maybe it'll even make you happy These are some dark and sad poems I wrote up. The later ones are about my real life and most of the earlier ones are made up. This is me basically pouring my heart out, so please no hate! - Alexandra #917 in poetry 12/18/14Complete
Breathe
Help, I have done it again I have been here many times before Hurt myself again today And the worst part is there's no one else to blame Be my friend, hold me Wrap me up, unfold me I am small, and needy Warm me up and breathe me Ouch, I have lost myself again Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found Yeah, I think that I might break Lost myself again and I feel unsafeComplete
loss for words
every day I'm left at a loss for words. ✘CW: mentions of suicide and self-harm © 2017-2023 alexxiajay, all rights reserved *i wrote this collection in 2017, i have only updated it recently. (fixed some grammatical errors, and changed a few things, but otherwise, i've tried to leave it true to form) *all images are from google, i do not own any of themComplete
Thoughts of a Juvenile
Words are sharper than knife they say. Yes it is true. Some perfectly moulded good words can both make and break a heart easily. A poem is a group of such perfectly moulded words given wings to fly. They fly through the mind and heart easily. A hobby is an activity we do to express ourselves, our beliefs and our thinking. For example through drawing, dancing, singing, etcetera. Writing a poem is one of such hobbies. Here words are used. These words and messages are far more twisted. A poem hits the mind, a good poem hits the heart. Thoughts Of A Juvenile is just a collection of my poems.I started writing poems when I was 8. I may not be a great writer. But yeah I write to express. There have been times for me like many other teenagers where I thought I was lost and helpless. There have been good times too. I'm standing on the edge of teenage now, telling you that you can survive this. You can survive everything. All you need is to find your strengths. There are sad nights and then there are mornings full of opportunities. Don't give up. I'm here and I'll always be here. Whenever you feel down just remind yourself "Be stupid". Go out in public and the eat the food you like alone, ask out your crush, flirt like there's no one watching, dance like a ghost has possessed your body, prank people, have a little chat with the nerds you know. Surviving is an art not many can master. Be a Master. There are mistakes in this book and I tried my best to correct them. But couldn't correct them all. I would really love to receive reviews and criticism. Vote if you like it. Comment your views. And follow for more poems. Add it to your reading list or library.Complete
Release
This is a collection of my writing from the past 7 years. Before I started to write, I was a very lost individual, as are most teens, but I was lost in darkness. I was too afraid to move anywhere at all. I hid in the dark, debilitated by my own anxiety, sadnesses, anger, and hopelessness. I was desperate to be loved and feared it the most, I was a coward, I was self-destructive, I would mentally bend my thoughts to the point of bordering insanity. I was born into this world alone, and got too comfortable with it. Maybe I still am, but a fraction of what I used to be. This writing is extremely vulnerable, and potentially disturbing to others, as all my weaknesses, strengths, obsessions with making every moment sentimental, the sickening desperation I've had, the destructiveness, and the constant brutal reconstruction of my mind. Without guidance, it's been absolute intense chaos. Though, there is beauty in the darkness. Everything can be found in the darkness. You'll find that through my writing, I've somehow slowly become exactly what I've written. A living representation of my writing and what I wanted to be. Without myself even knowing it. A lot of my writing themes are based around nature, or some kind of natural aspect. The imagery I paint with natural metaphors is constant, the animals, just like you and I, the plants, and all other living things. I planted these seeds in my mind, unknowingly at the time, where I now feel the deep dark green jungle pressing at the inner walls of my skull. It's all that I want to consume my mind. There's so much to learn. The magic of nature, and it's infinite wisdom. It's as if I have been on this path all along, and I didn't even know what I was doing, yet my body and mind were passively taking care of me. Giving me and eventually showing exactly what I want, and wanted to become. I have every moment, every instance of suffering, and every epiphany to be thankful for. Soon, I'll be at peace from the raging storm.Complete
I've always had a feeling that I would die young. Ever since I started pondering on deaths door I've had this feeling. I could care less about the hell and heaven shenanigans, but death. I want it. The end of my life. I want to be in my suit, in my coffin, in the ground and my soul to be gone. I've been waiting for 16 years, yet no sign of death opening his door no matter how many times I ring his doorbell. Yeah, I enjoy thinking about my end. Especially at moments like this... *** #1 physical #1 cuteguys #1 addiction #2 self-esteem *** Started: 7 November 2022 Finished: 18 April 2024
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