He always assumes I want money. That money can replace my desire for a mother, for a female figure who will guide me through the darkness. All he can provide is money.
He assumes that because I use the money, that I'm happy, that I don't spend night hunched over my toilet bowl physically sick to my stomach with the guilt of killing my mother.
He assumes that because I have friends, that the smile on my face is genuine. That because I smile and confidently stride out of my room in a bikini, that I love myself and the way I look.
He assumes everything about me, because he doesn't know me. I'm his daughter, and with the simple fact, he assumes that by just looking at me he knows my every thought.
Does he know of the blood I spill when I have no other method of coping?
Does he know of the times I sit and ponder about what it would be like to go through death?
Does he know that when he leaves for work, I cry myself to sleep and wish for a mother?
Does he know that I could care less about him?
I hate him.
But he loves me.
Does he know, that through all this mess, I just want a mother. Because according to Disney, mother knows best?
"I was broken. Nothing, no one could fix me. Until you came into my life again. I wish I had gone with you that day instead of him. Because, now I can't imagine how I spent the previous years of my life without you by my side. You are my savior. You showed me that its okay to be broken and you showed me that I wasn't alone. You were with me. i love you for that. But I hate that I love you. I was never good with love. I'm scared that one day I'll wake up without you by my side. One day you will realize that you are better off without me and I don't want that day to come. Not now, not ever. I love you too much to let you go. I finally have a place in this world and that is next to you. You once said, 'Our mistakes compliment each other.' Truer words than these were never said before. We are both broken and incomplete but together, we're whole and we're fixed. We might be too bad for the others, but we are good for each other. They say all good things come to an end, but I'm bad and so are you. Together, we are horrible. But that just means that we're inevitable. You are mine and I promise to forever be yours."
Recap by WeLiveOnlyOne
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Humor #1 / Teen Fiction #1 / Romance #4