6 parts Complete MatureDean could still hear it, even now that they had been back for a few weeks. He could see the horror on Cas' face, the panic. He could hear the pain in his voice, recalled how it had twisted and turned in the depths of his eyes and contorted his features. He could still feel his own body go numb with hurt and shame, only to come alive with pain and dread once Cas told him about it.
He hadn't been able to say it. He'd finally been ready to say it. But he didn't. Couldn't.
Cas had begged him. Had begged him not to.
"Dean. Please, if you're about to say what I think you are- please. Please, you can't-"
Dean had waited so long to be able to say it, had fought and denied and swallowed those words, those feelings so many times. Now that he was ready to let them go, they weighed heavily on his heart, demanding to be set free and fly. Kept inside, they seemed to settle in his chest, pulling him down.
"Don't", Cas had begged, something inside Dean shattering, coldness spreading, closing around his heart like a fist. "Please, don't."
~oOo~
Or the one where Cas tells Dean about the Empty-Deal after his Purgatory Prayer and everything hurts until it doesn't.