Running With Scissors - Sam Camp - Wattpad

Running With Scissors

Reads 293,751
Votes 17,871
Parts 42
Time 9h 17m

Reads 293,751
Votes 17,871
Parts 42
Time 9h 17m

absurdist action adult adventure cancer comedy contemporary dark darkhumor friendship hitman humor legal suspense texttospeech thriller

Diagnosed with a terminal illness, Peter Katz hires a hitman to take him out. But when a cure is discovered, Peter's got to outrun the assassin to stay alive!

*****

When douchebag lawyer Peter Katz gets diagnosed with terminal cancer, he wants to die painlessly. Still, death seems to elude his every attempt, so he hires an assassin to kill him at a random time and place within the month. Unfortunately for Peter, right after he orders the hit, a treatment is discovered that would add decades to his life. Now Peter Katz has to start running, until the month-long deadline ends. Desperate to survive, he has to deal with tall-dwarves, unionized suicide workers, art terrorism and all the insanity that being alive has to offer. Will he make it to the end of the month? Or will Peter Katz live a life's worth of craziness in however many days he has left?

For what is Comedy, but Tragedy + Time?

[[word count: 100,000-150,000 words]]All Rights Reserved

absurdist action adult adventure cancer comedy contemporary dark darkhumor friendship hitman humor legal suspense texttospeech thriller

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42 parts

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The Doctor's Assistant by AtlasPyro

Have you ever felt so unimaginably lonely? Ever wanted to end your life because things have gotten so unbelievably horrible? Parents misunderstanding you? Pressure too much amongst your daily stresses? Do not fret, just walk to the back alley behind Maple View Memorial Hospital. Walk down the creaking metal steps, knock a few times on the wooden door and the doctor will handle the rest. These were some of the things Elliot heard being whispered at the weekly depression seminars. They were dying for a way out, a way out of life. A way that didn't involve hanging in the kitchen before the movers showed up. With mom and dad dead from a car crash a few weeks prior, and zero friends to acknowledge their absence, Elliot decides to visit the doctor. But is it more than what they bargained for?

The Beast by xwriteratheartxo

HANNAH I've spent my entire twenty-one years on this earth in the background. Walked over by friends. Family. Strangers. And I didn't see a problem with it; I'd rather nobody pay attention to me. It was safer that way. Easier. Until I got the wrong kind of attention. Lev Somov caught me running from an impromptu crime I was committing against my ex-boyfriend, and in that moment, he somehow decided I was worth giving his attention to. All the bad kinds of attention. Next thing I know, he's watching over me, hijacking my job and becoming my client. And then he takes things above a level I never thought possible. He is a monster, incapable of feeling any type of remorse or guilt for anyone and anything, including me. All I can hope for is that I make it out of this obsession alive. LEV This life wasn't meant for me, but now that he's gone, it's mine for the taking. And no one is going to stop me. I've shown my loyalty through blood, and I make no plans to change my future. Especially not for the little kukolka I found stumbling into the wrong alleyway. I'll take my time before I break her. And then, the Dynasty will be mine.

Man Of Few Words by GavinMackenzie

One man's painful yet funny search for meaning in a life about to be cut short. Cancer has made David Alexander's whole existence suddenly seem worthless. But is it?

For The Next Thirty Seconds ✓ by lanaisadumbass

**editing ((: "How many sets of thirty seconds are in a day?" "My rough estimate?" "Sure." "About three thousand." "Oh." "Yeah." • 19 year-old Jack's life has been one traumatic event after the next. So, being diagnosed with small cell lung cancer was just icing on the cake. With a survival rate of 14 percent and a life expectancy of 4 months, Jack does all he knows how to do: he runs. 18 year-old Lane's life has just been turned upside down. After finding out her sister's engaged to her childhood best friend, she doesn't think it could get any worse... until she finds out her happily-married parents of 24 years are getting a divorce. She can't stand even being in the same room as one of her family members, so she does something she's never done before: she runs. The Big Apple has never seemed so small. At least, not to Jack and Lane, not when they were next to each other. Nothing seemed too big. Side by side, they could conquer the world. They could fly. But, if the world decides to fight back, whose to say they won't fall, instead? 𝘖𝘯𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴.

Afterlife: Oblivion #Wattys2024 by astronomist

You die. Game over? Not quite. Welcome to the Afterlife Crucible. Every millennium, lost souls battle for a second shot at life. Forget everything you thought you knew about the afterlife. It's not pearly gates and harps - it's a ruthless gauntlet dreamed up by bored gods with a sick sense of humour. Your regrets become weapons, your sins are armour, and your secrets? Just ammo for your rivals. This is a no-holds-barred war where only the most devious spirits get to breathe again. You'll face nightmares that make Hell look like Disneyland, and opponents who'd sell their own mothers for a chance to win. Ready to fight for your life... after death? I sure as hell wasn't. There I was, barely keeping my head above water, when some prick decided to punch my ticket early. But let's face it - my chances of winning are slimmer than my ex's conscience. Who am I? Jane Doe. Just another dead girl in a sea of corpses... a junkie, a fuckup, a waste of oxygen. Or so I thought...

Tick Tock Goes the Clock by Kale_Kabbage

Things have been a little rocky for Peter lately, but he's still standing. He's still doing his best to succeed, going to college and patrolling in his spare time. Sure, it's lonely, what with his family being dead, Ned and MJ in Boston, Mr. Stark off living his life happily with his family, and Happy avoiding him. But whatever, it's all fine. Everything is fine. Or it was until a mysterious new disease pops up and Peter gets some unwanted news. Good 'ol Parker luck, right? Content Warning: -Coarse Language -Depressive Mentality and Themes -Mild Violence -Descriptive Sexual Acts Story by Kale_Kabbage All character belong to Marvel®

Spider-Man: Web Of Lies by KRAFTMAXNCHESE

At 15, Peter Parker faces a harsh awakening after the tragic death of his uncle, realizing the weight of the responsibilities that come with his newfound powers. Balancing the challenges of high school, a mysterious new girl, and the shocking transformation of his mentor into a dangerous giant lizard, Peter must confront threats to his city and his life. Will he rise above it all and become the Spectacular Spider-Man? ~~~~~~ "Ever feel like the universe has a twisted sense of humor? Yeah, that's pretty much my life. I'm Peter Parker. Six months ago, a radioactive spider decided to make me its personal science experiment. Overnight, I went from awkward teen to... well, awkward teen with superpowers. At first, I thought that bite was the moment everything changed. I was wrong." ~~~~~~

His Darkest Obsession by ellawryts_

One night. Two strangers. A single mistake, and her life has never been the same since. When Siya caught her fiancée cheating on her with her step-sister, heartbroken, she runs away to Paris to clear her mind and gets drunk. That was her first mistake. Her second and more serious mistake was when she, too drunk to even form coherent sentences, had sex with some handsome stranger as a final 'fuck you' to her asshole of an ex fiancée. She thought that it was only a one night stand, that they will just give each other a wonderful night, say goodbye and go their own ways. However, fate had other plans for her. What she didn't know was that the man she had sex with was one of the most ruthless mafia lords in the country, and that the more time they spent away from each other after that, the more he got obsessed with her. Also, what will she do when she finds out that she is pregnant with the baby of a stranger she met on an unfortunate night? How will they meet again? TROPES: Second chances Accidental pregnancy 'Touch her and die' MMC is obsessed with the FMC (At least give it a try before deciding it's good or not. It's my first ever book)

Identity by mazecatt

Within only an hour, it felt like his world stopped spinning. His life collapsed. He gets the opportunity for a second chance, but will it be worth all the trouble? Extended summary inside. This is a prequel to Permanent, but you can read them in either order! Permanent is already published (and completed) on my profile. Updates every Sunday! Start date - 8/28/22 End date - 11/20/22 TW - Abuse, suicide, bullying, violence, injuries/blood, (brief) language, and (brief) panic/anxiety attacks I won't be posting TW's at the beginning of each chapter. This is it. Disclaimer - Most of the characters and settings belong to Marvel.

𝓈𝓊𝓃𝒻𝓁𝑜𝓌𝑒𝓇 | p.p. x reader | book one. by wildsupernova

{this book is currently going through an extensive editing process. writing styles may not line up between chapters and some plot points may not match up until book is fully edited. edited chapters will be marked with a checkmark} You never believe something can happen to you until it does. Your entire life gets turned upside down, uprooting you from everything you thought you knew and turning you into something completely different. Your world seems to take a turn for the worst, and the things you once enjoyed take a backseat to wallowing in self pity and wading knee-deep in sadness. That's how it was when my brother died. Only a year ago, everything I knew changed for good. Brand new town, brand new people, brand new life to live. Thankfully friends are easy to come by, but it turns out I wouldn't be lucky enough to keep my normal life. One fateful night and two chance encounters would change everything for me. A fresh start in New York turned out to be far more than that; it was a second chance at life itself. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- TOP RANKINGS: #70 in science #519 in superhero

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Slide 1 of 10

The Doctor's Assistant cover

The Beast cover

Man Of Few Words cover

For The Next Thirty Seconds ✓ cover

Afterlife: Oblivion #Wattys2024 cover

Tick Tock Goes the Clock cover

Spider-Man: Web Of Lies cover

His Darkest Obsession cover

𝓈𝓊𝓃𝒻𝓁𝑜𝓌𝑒𝓇 | p.p. x reader | book one. cover

The Doctor's Assistant

Have you ever felt so unimaginably lonely? Ever wanted to end your life because things have gotten so unbelievably horrible? Parents misunderstanding you? Pressure too much amongst your daily stresses? Do not fret, just walk to the back alley behind Maple View Memorial Hospital. Walk down the creaking metal steps, knock a few times on the wooden door and the doctor will handle the rest. These were some of the things Elliot heard being whispered at the weekly depression seminars. They were dying for a way out, a way out of life. A way that didn't involve hanging in the kitchen before the movers showed up. With mom and dad dead from a car crash a few weeks prior, and zero friends to acknowledge their absence, Elliot decides to visit the doctor. But is it more than what they bargained for?