Running With Scissors - Sam Camp - Wattpad

Running With Scissors

Reads 294,436
Votes 17,907
Parts 42
Time 9h 17m

Reads 294,436
Votes 17,907
Parts 42
Time 9h 17m

absurdist action adult adventure cancer comedy contemporary dark darkhumor friendship hitman humor legal suspense texttospeech thriller

Diagnosed with a terminal illness, Peter Katz hires a hitman to take him out. But when a cure is discovered, Peter's got to outrun the assassin to stay alive!

*****

When douchebag lawyer Peter Katz gets diagnosed with terminal cancer, he wants to die painlessly. Still, death seems to elude his every attempt, so he hires an assassin to kill him at a random time and place within the month. Unfortunately for Peter, right after he orders the hit, a treatment is discovered that would add decades to his life. Now Peter Katz has to start running, until the month-long deadline ends. Desperate to survive, he has to deal with tall-dwarves, unionized suicide workers, art terrorism and all the insanity that being alive has to offer. Will he make it to the end of the month? Or will Peter Katz live a life's worth of craziness in however many days he has left?

For what is Comedy, but Tragedy + Time?

[[word count: 100,000-150,000 words]]All Rights Reserved

absurdist action adult adventure cancer comedy contemporary dark darkhumor friendship hitman humor legal suspense texttospeech thriller

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42 parts

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And Here's To Nowhere by BroganEastwood

A short comedy about the death of an old man who doesn't belong anywhere. He' meets some friends and has some adventures, but what happens if things get too out of hand! Well he dose have forever. Just to be sure I don't believe in religion. I don't think there's anything after death. Well you can't feel emotion because they come from your brain, sorry I probably just made my one reader suicidal. Sorry Dan One other thing why does everyone just read the last chapters and skip the middle ones, I fell like I have no fillers and the zoo trip is a parody of a story Spring Valley Academy, with a spin-off which I'm crossing over with.

For The Next Thirty Seconds ✓ by lanaisadumbass

**editing ((: "How many sets of thirty seconds are in a day?" "My rough estimate?" "Sure." "About three thousand." "Oh." "Yeah." • 19 year-old Jack's life has been one traumatic event after the next. So, being diagnosed with small cell lung cancer was just icing on the cake. With a survival rate of 14 percent and a life expectancy of 4 months, Jack does all he knows how to do: he runs. 18 year-old Lane's life has just been turned upside down. After finding out her sister's engaged to her childhood best friend, she doesn't think it could get any worse... until she finds out her happily-married parents of 24 years are getting a divorce. She can't stand even being in the same room as one of her family members, so she does something she's never done before: she runs. The Big Apple has never seemed so small. At least, not to Jack and Lane, not when they were next to each other. Nothing seemed too big. Side by side, they could conquer the world. They could fly. But, if the world decides to fight back, whose to say they won't fall, instead? 𝘖𝘯𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴.

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HANNAH I've spent my entire twenty-one years on this earth in the background. Walked over by friends. Family. Strangers. And I didn't see a problem with it; I'd rather nobody pay attention to me. It was safer that way. Easier. Until I got the wrong kind of attention. Lev Somov caught me running from an impromptu crime I was committing against my ex-boyfriend, and in that moment, he somehow decided I was worth giving his attention to. All the bad kinds of attention. Next thing I know, he's watching over me, hijacking my job and becoming my client. And then he takes things above a level I never thought possible. He is a monster, incapable of feeling any type of remorse or guilt for anyone and anything, including me. All I can hope for is that I make it out of this obsession alive. LEV This life wasn't meant for me, but now that he's gone, it's mine for the taking. And no one is going to stop me. I've shown my loyalty through blood, and I make no plans to change my future. Especially not for the little kukolka I found stumbling into the wrong alleyway. I'll take my time before I break her. And then, the Dynasty will be mine.

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Slide 1 of 10

And Here's To Nowhere cover

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𝓈𝓊𝓃𝒻𝓁𝑜𝓌𝑒�𝓇 | p.p. x reader | book one. cover

The Beast cover

Albatross cover

Athanasius Finch: Private Dick | ONC 2020 cover

How Could I Let Go of Something I Hold So Dearly? cover

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And Here's To Nowhere

A short comedy about the death of an old man who doesn't belong anywhere. He' meets some friends and has some adventures, but what happens if things get too out of hand! Well he dose have forever. Just to be sure I don't believe in religion. I don't think there's anything after death. Well you can't feel emotion because they come from your brain, sorry I probably just made my one reader suicidal. Sorry Dan One other thing why does everyone just read the last chapters and skip the middle ones, I fell like I have no fillers and the zoo trip is a parody of a story Spring Valley Academy, with a spin-off which I'm crossing over with.