why.
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WpMetadataReadComplete Sun, Sep 9, 2018<5 mins
"My mom is anxious. My dad is an insomniac. My brother is self destructive." "I am envious. I am hypocritical." "I grew (and am still growing) in a society that seems perfect." "Am I the worst person in the world, or is that just me being obnoxious and self obsessed?" "I hate that I'm so self aware, and that I think/know everything going on." "I feel like if I waltzed through life, thinking everything was alright, (even though it's not) I would be better off. Or would I?"
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He was the best and worst older brother. I thought I'd never be able to say, "hey, you turned out to not be a complete douche". His smile was the best, his influence changed my world. His death knocked me off balance. he died for a monster named Heroin, and I'll never forgive him completely for it. Yeah, miss him? Tons. Never forgive? Possibly. At the moment, I don't know what to think. That's why I'm trying to sort this shit out. I'm going to find forgiveness somewhere, but he'll have to work for it. Dead or alive.

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