Doki Doki Literature Club Fanfic: College Sucks

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY READ THE TAGS BEFORE YOU READ THE PIECE

We're all a little more dead inside after finishing this. But that's what we're "payed" to do now, isn't it? Regardless, we had a good laugh making it.
It should be noted that all characters involved are over 18, especially now that they're in college in this particular scenario.

Doki Doki Literature Club and its characters are owned by Team Salvato.
Big Bang Burger and Persona 5 are owned by ATLUS.
World of Warcraft is owned by Blizzard Entertainment.
"Oh, that's a baseball!", "Jaggers!", and JoJo's Bizarre Adventure are owned by Hirohiko Araki and David Production.