The Bet

So, I had to write a short fiction story for my Intermediate Writing Class. I really enjoyed this class, the professor highly encouraged each of us to push ourselves to our limits. The assignment was to just pick any topic and just write. That was all he said. I often get writers block while writing, so I never finish my pieces, but this was an assignment, so I had to finish it. What I want to do with this story is well, to give it a proper story and ending. Don't get me wrong, I love the story and it was good, but I know I can do better if I took my time and really develop my characters. So, I'm going to upload the essay here as a rough draft (the actual rough draft was just . . . ROUGH). In the authors note I'll share what some of my classmates and professor advised to make it better and a stronger piece. You guys are welcome to comment if you agree with them or disagree, or just any additional comments are always welcomed.
This will just be the rough draft, later within the semester I will break this essay up to create a longer storyline. I will make a cover and make a proper description about what the story will be about. Overall, this is a sneak peak, so I hope you enjoy.