Finding Silence
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- Parts 1
Ongoing<5 mins
Last published Sun, Sep 16, 2018
Dear Journal/ Readers,
Since this is my first time on here, I'll introduce myself. My name is Emily, I am 23 years old and am a life long booknerd. Fangirling is my idenity and I am overly sensitive Introvert. I also have mild autism - so every sense for me is heightened ten times.
I struggle everday with all the loud noises and extroverted people out there. The only thing that, keeps me sane is my fandoms. I am in so many fandoms from The 100 to Skam. I am also obsessed with gay ships e.g. Wilson,Robron,Paulson,Evak,Malec etc.
Read below for my latest thoughts.
Lately so much has happened and it's all happening so fast. My mind feels scrambled and I can't hear the silence.
It also doesn't help that , there is noise everywhere I turn. Like I said , my senses are heightened. For small normal noises e.g. running water, cars etc. are amplified- it hurts so much, it's like my ears bleed!!
I just want everything to down and be silent
All Rights Reserved
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"I think I'm gay." I say, leaving out the part about my... exposing dream about him last night. I watched his expression, waiting for some sign that he was angry. I waited for him to call me a faggot, to curse me off and tell me he never wanted to see me again. Instead, I was greeted with his perfect toothy smile. "That's great man, I'm of proud you." He says, patting my arm as he stuffed another cracker in his mouth. "It takes some real balls to come out to someone." He says, his beautiful green eyes blazing into mine. I felt myself become flustered at his gaze. "Uh, Yeah, Thanks." I stumbled out, "You're not mad?" I ask. His expression turns to hurt as he crinkles his eyebrows. "Why the hell would I be mad?" He asks, hesitating on the crackers and pushing them away. "I just thought-it's just- well... you just always seem so pissed when someone mentions the word gay." I spit out words, scared for his reaction. He sighs, "That doesn't fucking mean I hate gays. Normally when I do that it's because someone's using the word 'gay' to hate on them, it just pisses me off, you know?" He asks, bringing the crackers back into his lap and biting into them. "Plus-" He adds on, "You're my best friend, if anything, you being gay is a blessing. I'll always support you." He says, glancing at me through the side of his eyes. I look away, towards the door to hide the crimson blush that I feel spread over my face. "Thanks." I all but squeak out. And that's the day I realized, I have a faint crush on my best friend. <><><><><< THIS BOOK IS BEING *MAJORLY* EDITED. THERES LOTS OF SPELLING MISTAKES AND NAME MIX UPS, SOME CHAPTERS WILL BE REWRITTEN Also, Please don't be mean to the characters, they aren't even close to perfect, but they don't deserve hate.
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