Thoughts and feelings
  • Reads 1,693
  • Votes 77
  • Parts 37
  • Time 1h 20m
  • Reads 1,693
  • Votes 77
  • Parts 37
  • Time 1h 20m
Ongoing, First published Sep 21, 2018
Mature
You'll get the understanding of how I'm feeling in my daily life and you'll understand why. You'll get the picture of what's going through my mind with my wild thoughts. Some of you may be able to relate to me but others won't and that's okay. I'm just here to let you guys know, you are not alone and I'm here for you if anything. I hope you enjoy.
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All you need Is love but sometimes love alone isn't enough  by RENOl_ENOLA
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I really don't remember the last time I was happy even my childhood memories I honestly don't remember having a bubbly childhood like any other kids ,my life has always been miserable and honestly learned how to adapt to that. you honestly smile over something stupid , laugh over a cracked joke for a few minutes and there's that thing that triggers that you just had enough and you should stop and your mood just goes down and there's nothing to do about it. It's like the inner you always wakes up fucked up more than you are fucked up and tells you that you just sad and you gonna stay that way until you take out the anger on something or someone but you know what something always has to be the blade, permanent scars on how bad it was ,a daily reminder on how life is and how sadness over comes you at times actually not at times but everytime and on the someone part , you hurt people that honestly try to reach out to you and show you how much they care about you but you just had it with everyone and everything and you want no one caring about your feelings and giving a fuck about you because you can't reciprocate the feelings. You can't find yourself caring about anyone else but you but still can't care about yourself enough to feel safe or protected , he was the only one that made me feel alive and I lost him but what hurts more is losing someone and only realizing later what they meant to you.
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"𝓢𝓸𝓶𝓮𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮𝓼, 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓶𝓸𝓼𝓽 𝓾𝓷𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓰𝓮𝓽𝓽𝓪𝓫𝓵𝓮 𝓷𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽𝓼 𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓸𝓷𝓮𝓼 𝔀𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻𝔂𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓪𝓵𝓵𝓼 𝓪𝓹𝓪𝓻𝓽 - 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓼𝓸𝓶𝓮𝓱𝓸𝔀, 𝓯𝓪𝓵𝓵𝓼 𝓽𝓸𝓰𝓮𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻." 𝑼𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒍𝒐𝒘 𝒐𝒇 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕, 𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒖𝒏𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒍, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒍𝒐𝒚𝒂𝒍𝒕𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒅. 𝑪𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒚𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒃𝒆 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒅? 𝑷𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕: 𝒂 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔, 𝒎𝒖𝒔𝒊𝒄, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒆𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒔 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒖𝒏𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒍. 𝑭𝒐𝒓 𝑷𝒊𝒑𝒆𝒓 𝑨𝒔𝒉𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒅, 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒔𝒖𝒑𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒂 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒓𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓-𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒂𝒚𝒃𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔. 𝑩𝒆𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒖𝒏𝒆𝒙𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒚𝒂𝒍𝒔, 𝒂𝒄𝒄𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒍 𝒎𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒂 𝒅𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒇𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒓 𝒇𝒖𝒍𝒍 𝒐𝒇 𝒅𝒓𝒂𝒎𝒂, 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒂 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒘𝒊𝒔𝒕. 𝑨𝒔 𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒓𝒊𝒔𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔 𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒅𝒆, 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒓𝒆𝒎𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒔: 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕, 𝒐𝒓 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔
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All you need Is love but sometimes love alone isn't enough

10 parts Complete Mature

I really don't remember the last time I was happy even my childhood memories I honestly don't remember having a bubbly childhood like any other kids ,my life has always been miserable and honestly learned how to adapt to that. you honestly smile over something stupid , laugh over a cracked joke for a few minutes and there's that thing that triggers that you just had enough and you should stop and your mood just goes down and there's nothing to do about it. It's like the inner you always wakes up fucked up more than you are fucked up and tells you that you just sad and you gonna stay that way until you take out the anger on something or someone but you know what something always has to be the blade, permanent scars on how bad it was ,a daily reminder on how life is and how sadness over comes you at times actually not at times but everytime and on the someone part , you hurt people that honestly try to reach out to you and show you how much they care about you but you just had it with everyone and everything and you want no one caring about your feelings and giving a fuck about you because you can't reciprocate the feelings. You can't find yourself caring about anyone else but you but still can't care about yourself enough to feel safe or protected , he was the only one that made me feel alive and I lost him but what hurts more is losing someone and only realizing later what they meant to you.