Dairy of a broken one

Hello everyone, this story will gonna be the exact story of my life so far or at least the important parts of my life.
some things has to be cleared:
1. I'm not a native English speaker, so my grammar is a bit f*cked up sometimes, but oh well, we're all humans, none of us can be perfect
2. As soon as I'm gonna see that there's no point in keeping it going I'm not gonna, but i might get back to it eventually