spiralling. (a short story)
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- Parts 10
Complete Sun, Oct 28, 201812m
"Disordered thinking is what they call it. I can recall moments throughout my day, but I can't find the connections between one event and the next. There's a lot of blank spaces, in between other grey areas. "
originally written for an assignment, I wrote a short story detailing instances that have happened to me during episodes of dissociation, psychosis, and mania. some of these situations were also made up and have never happened to me. I kinda like this, hopefully you do too. I also hope this brings to light how serious psychosis can be, and how unfun and untrendy it really is.
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psychosis
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He had rules for a reason, or thats what he said. I did something wrong I got punished. I spoke out of turn, I got punished. I looked at him or ate without permission, I got punished. Haven thats what they named me funny isn't it? Ironic really. They named me Haven because my mom would say I was her 'Safe Haven'. What a pile of shit that was. She left willingly, she didn't depart because of some tragic accident. My father didn't kill her. She left because she was a coward who didn't want kids. As soon as my older brother went to college she left. I knew she hated me. I was the product of her love with another man. A constant reminder that her life didn't work out the way it was planned. He who ever he was is a phantom in its own. A deep rooted fantasy never going to come true. My brother left, my mother left, my grandma ignored, and my father broke. They let me give up hope on escaping and then decided to play hero. But I haven't forgotten everything I went through. Guilt consumes my brother but I don't care, you don't get to leave and then buy a reprieve of trying to save someone who has been dead for years. Besides lets just be honest I reached my breaking point long ago.
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