Eventually
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- Parts 1
Ongoing<5 mins
Last published Mon, Sep 24, 2018
But Eventually I'll be okay. Eventually I will be back to normal. Ya know the normal where you pretend to be okay and you're back to faking smiles. Eventually I will be able to eat without feeling sick. Eventually I will stop crying and breaking down because I lost my best friend. Eventually I will be okay. Eventually you will not be the only thing on my mind. Eventually I'll be able to sleep without constantly waking up. Eventually I won't lay on the floor with Dan and Shay on repeat. Eventually i won't be waiting on advice from my deceased grandmother. Eventually my mom won't be worried. However, I will always feel like I could have tried harder, I will not be open to new relationships so easily. I will always be more conscious of everything. And I will always feel like I failed our friendrelationship of not boyfriend boyfriend and vice versa. I will feel like I should've tried harder. I'll always remember this when I'm driving home and thinking I'll call him. Oh wait we aren't talking much anymore. Then I'll look at old messages I saved and feel like crap all over again. But good news I will eventually be able to fake it like I'm okay again.
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SCREENPLAY VERSION.... 18+ readers only ❤️ I've lived the last eight years of my life in pain. Pain that should've brought me to my knees, with a big fat "Screw-you world, I'm outta here!" Still, I refused to give up. Never did I want to be that weak, pitiful woman I was with him. Our relationship, (If you can even call it that) became toxic. I knew it was, but I didn't see this one coming. No, that's a lie. It was totally his style. It didn't surprise me at all. I lost so much confidence because of him, so finding love was a complete no no. I just couldn't allow anybody else in after living with the devil himself. It's impossible. I've lost the ability to trust anybody, aside from my family and my best friend. But never did I imagine my life going this way, and because of it, I lost all hope of ever finding love again. Living with all that destruction almost destroyed me. I knew he was bad, but never did I think he would ruin my life. He knew how important my dreams were, and still, he destroyed everything. Crazily, I knew it was his jealousy that made him do it. I've never in my life met anybody so green-eyed before. It was all about control, and I had enough. Since then, it's taken a long time in getting my life back on track. Yet just when I thought it was clear to move forward, I'm hit with more drama. Can I survive it, or will the devil himself come back and destroy my happiness forever?
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