Eventually

But Eventually I'll be okay. Eventually I will be back to normal. Ya know the normal where you pretend to be okay and you're back to faking smiles. Eventually I will be able to eat without feeling sick. Eventually I will stop crying and breaking down because I lost my best friend. Eventually I will be okay. Eventually you will not be the only thing on my mind. Eventually I'll be able to sleep without constantly waking up. Eventually I won't lay on the floor with Dan and Shay on repeat. Eventually i won't be waiting on advice from my deceased grandmother. Eventually my mom won't be worried. However, I will always feel like I could have tried harder, I will not be open to new relationships so easily. I will always be more conscious of everything. And I will always feel like I failed our friendrelationship of not boyfriend boyfriend and vice versa. I will feel like I should've tried harder. I'll always remember this when I'm driving home and thinking I'll call him. Oh wait we aren't talking much anymore. Then I'll look at old messages I saved and feel like crap all over again. But good news I will eventually be able to fake it like I'm okay again.