Inner dialogue
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Tagsdepression
!!Warning!! The following contents may be triggering especially to individuals battling depression, self harm, suicidal ideations, dysphoria, and various other conditions and mental states. Please do not be afraid to ask for help regarding these or any other issues. I am here if you need someone. Please DM me if you need to talk or call 1-800-273-8255 (US National Suicide Hotline) if it is urgent.
Depression is a strange thing. Your head feels so empty, yet so full at the same time. You sleep too much yet also battle insomnia. You try to think logically, yet your logic gets put off by your own mind. Not every story has a happy ending. Sometimes the end is just as ambiguous as the journey. Sometimes you don't know who you are, where you are, or what is going on. And you never know what is coming.
This story is not written in a traditional style. Most of the story is internal dialogue, from the consciousness to itself. It is meant to attempt to represent the battle of depression in the individual's own head.
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"I felt as if I didn't belong, And I felt as if i'm not sick enough" Alfie struggles with the concept of food. He loves it, he hates it and just wants to find peace with it and within himself. He wants to make up with his body, his mind but he's lost all control so he's finding it hard to live. Alfie Hailo, a 16 year old swimmer, has been struggling with food since the age of 13. His parents put him in dance class when he was 6 but he was getting bullied as he got older, so decided to quit and choose a more 'masculine' sport.His father also left the family home 2 years prior and has been struggling to understand why. He has amazing friends, and an amazing family who love and care for him dearly but, he doesn't feel this. He feels like he has to be perfect. With the pressure of school, and having to keep up to the social norms of a professional swimmer, it's hard for Alfie to concentrate. He needs the help. And to do this, Alvin helps. Alvin helps him find his worth, take control, and makes his life easier, or so he seems. His best friends, Killian and Ruby, know Alfie inside and out. They know his family life, school life. And this is because Alfie is a simple person. He has never had a detention, nor has he been expelled. He's a straight A student with no history of alcohol or drug abuse. Will they suspect anything? How will Alfie proceed with his excruciating pain. Will he cover it up or will he find the courage to speak up and seek help?
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