Recovery From Anorexia

He said that it was my fault that he was hurting me, touching me; That if I was skinnier maybe he could have loved me.

These lies haunted my head for several years while I lived with it in silence before I finally spoke out about the horror I was living with him.

He was my best friend, and he betrayed me. Most of the students at that school did too. They joined in his chior and taunted me about my weight.

The doctors didn't understand why I was so far underweight. They blamed my "healthy metabolism". Lies.

I almost died once or twice. My Doctor ordered an EKG, and she said that its readings were scarily low, and that she was afraid my heart would collapse. I went to the hospital and was nursed back to health.

I returned to school. Still, I was the fat girl. There determination to destroy me, never failed to appall me. I gave into my old, dirty ways.

I switched schools because my parents noticed the pattern of abuse I was recieving from the school.

Yet again though, my heart was on the brinks of collapsing. Another hospital visit followed in short, and I was admitted into an Eating Disorder Intensive Out Patient program - a 45 minute commute from my home.

My parents didnt care about the distance, they just wanted to see the light in my eyes again. They wanted their little girl back.

I refused treatment, by faking my way out. I got out, and relapsed horribly.

Now, I see the pain in everyones eyes. I am surrounded by such amazing, positive people who I would never want to hurt. But I am. I am hurting them by hurting myself.

Before I thought I was isolated. That what I did to myself was MY businness. But I know realize thats far from the truth. What i do to myself, effects my two year old sister, my 15 year old brother, my father and mother, my friends.

What I do to myself, effects soooooo many people, and I don't want to be a worry anymore.

I want to get better.

i WILL get better!