Trapped In Another Body

Trapped In Another Body

Reads 17,126
Votes 926
Parts 44

Complete Fri, Jun 17, 20161h 14m

depression journal mtf transgender transgirl

I just needed a space to vent my feelings, I finally found tht place and if I annoy u thn find something else to read, if u like what I write thn plz follow.

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Just Another Cut
Lillan was depressed. "A Lost Cause" according to anyone you asked about her. She only had Lucas & Sierra, and her sister. She was an outed lesbian in the small town of Teakwood, West Virginia. A small town that hated anyone who dared to be different. She never felt like she belonged. Lillan being on the edge of life and death. She was almost ready to call it quits on life. Alexis was a lesbian and she was damn proud. When her family moves to Teakwood, West Virginia, she's not prepared for the initial judgement but can't bring it in her to care. So when she meets Lillan, the most beautiful girl she's ever laid eyes on, she sees despair and she realizes she must help Lillian.
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The Diary of a Struggling Genderfluid: 2
It's here for me to rant and you to learn again. A continuation of my previous journal, which just had too many chapters.
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Confusion, FtM journal
I cut my hair short cuz I wanted it to be like a guys. But everyone still told me I looked pretty. I bought a binder only for cosplay. I ended up wearing it every day. I am a boy. So why does everyone see a girl? Hey, I'm Conner I'm a FtM transgender guy and am just trying to work through life right now. So ya, this is a personal journal that I'm hopefully gonna keep (*crossing my fingers*), and use just to unload and talk about random stuff while I work on transitioning.
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I am the Queen of the Dark
This world is huge and beautiful. Yet, it also has so many mystery in it. Still, I hate this world. For me, it's just a full pile of trash. Thousands of fake words exist in this world. Not just this world, but also the other worlds. Including mine. Oh what a piece of trash. So many hypocrites exist in this unpredictable huge galaxy. Like those people who supported you, then stabbed you from the back. Those who smiled this second, then spit out their bad words towards you in the next second. Those who were with you this minute, then dumped you like you're nothing, until your distance with them was like the Earth and the Moon, in the next minute. Those who protected you this hour, then tried to destroy you in the next hour. So...trash. What is family? They're nothing but the annoying people whom always tied me up to follow whatever they said. It's like I'm their pet, instead of their daughter who wished to be free. What is friend? They're no more than those who used you, then dumped you when you're no longer needed in this world. It's all Hell. Hell I say. I don't need family! Nor friends! Or even love, or anything in this awful place. I just wanted to be alone. Alone and free. Yes, your eyes were not wrong! I'm so sick, that I wanted to be all by myself for the rest of my life. Yet, why...is it so painful..to see them go? ***** She is pretty. With her glowing silver hair, she looked like the Princess who was blessed by the Moonlight. Her skin is as white as snow, yet pale like the corpses. Her eyes...are as red as blood. She fell to our world along with the falling meteor. She saw the beautiful earth along with the downfall of her kingdom. And when she started to stand on her own feet, she could never say the word 'Mom' and 'Dad' anymore. Born in the darkness, she came to destroy the peaceful Earth, along with all the living beings in it. But as time passed, as she met new people, it all began to change.
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Tethered
Bright lights, the beat of the music beneath my feet. Distant chatter, quite whispers. The feeling of joy, loss, heartbreak, and loneliness surround me. Buried in a crowd, drowning under the gazes of people who look through you. I am but of glass, a mirror if you will, willing to be seen through, but not seen. Screaming in a room full of people when no one can hear you, let alone see you. Hidden breaths, rising, falling. Isn't that funny, falling? Laughing would be easier than standing here in the crowded place, filled with people, faces, judging every moment the other makes. I could tell you the peace I get standing alone in a room filled with people who only see you as a mirror for who they don't want to be. I could cry tears of blood, and non would ever so much bat an eye in my direction, but I love it. The feeling of being unseen as to appose being seen for the matieral object I once was. Silent, unmoving, unwilling. I am but an idea, glass, shatterable, broken beyond compare. But strong, resistance flows through me. Willing me to be the best I can be, but can I? Who says I make sense, who says I am even me, am I? That's a question I spent years wondering. Who would I be without these scars that tether my skin, marking each even, like a calender. To mend the feelings people have isn't a easy thing, but to break is easy, always easy. How easy it is to forget, to run. I can feel the ground beneath my feet, feel the soil in-between the crooks of my toes, I could describe to you the smell of the rain. Pinpoint the center of the earth, but as I stand here, again amongst the crowd of people stand in this room. I am lost again, an idea, but for what purpose? If I could run, navigate my way through this crowd, I would seek refuge somewhere dark and cold, where I could take off this cloak and be one with who I am, or want to be.
birthright.
"being a shield is my birthright." • This work is dedicated to everyone who is healing, recovering, learning (and unlearning), discovering, becoming, and being. For all of the oldest siblings, those recovering from trauma of any kind, the twenty-somethings, all of my queer and trans and disabled and neurodivergent siblings, people whose favorite trope is found family, those who struggle with chronic pain/illness, and anyone who just can't figure out how to word things. This is for you. This is also for me, for my future self, so I can hopefully look back one day and thank the Universe for how I've grown and how much I've gained. Here's to hoping for a better future.
Found
The world is a cruel place. For some people, they love to live in this happy, forgiving, earth. But, the others who aren't so lucky, want to do anything and everything to escape it's unjust ways. To live in another world, a world of peace, of kindness. They say that the best people are the ones who get hurt the most. I am one of them. I hate the way that everyone is so happy in this earth, the way that they can live a good and cheerful life, when I am stuck with the dark depths of depression. In my world, I lacked happiness, friendship, and love. But, something changed. No, someone changed everything. He changed the way I looked at the world. He changed the way I wake up in the morning. And he gave me those three things that I lacked the most.
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GUILTY (Mxm)
I sit amidst the dingy shadows, enveloped by the stench of neglect. A week - or is it an eternity? - has passed since Declan's departure, leaving me shackled to this wretched existence. The darkness seems to suffocate me, an unrelenting shroud that wraps around my soul. My mind reels with the weight of my conscience, the crushing burden of what-ifs. If only I had listened, if only I had been wiser, if only... The torment of my thoughts rivals the agony etched on my body. Each bruise tells a story of regret, every wound a testament to my folly. Time lost all meaning in this bleak confinement. Days blend into nights, hours dissolve into an endless expanse of nothingness. I've lost count of the moments I've spent wallowing in self-loathing, my heart heavy with the weight of sorrow. My eyes, once bright and full of life, now hang limp, swollen from the deluge of tears. The Sahara desert would envy the ocean I've cried, yet the ache within me remains unquenched. The radiance that once defined me has faded, extinguished by the crushing blow of my own mistakes. In this desolate room, I'm forced to confront the shadows of my past. The silence is deafening, punctuated only by the haunting whispers of my conscience. Madness creeps in, its icy tendrils snaking through my mind, threatening to consume me whole. My reflection would be unrecognizable to those who once knew me. Sunken cheeks, hollow eyes, and skin stretched taut over brittle bones. My body, once strong and resilient, now trembles with each faint heartbeat. The frailty of my form mirrors the fragility of my spirit.
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Not a princess I wanna be a prince. (The story of a transgendered person)
I decided to write something a little personal. This is basically a little journal about being transgender and everything. If you read it that's great if you don't that's fine to. But if your just going to hate and be a jerk then just go ahead and not even be bothered to read this because I don't want any hate. If your also transgender and want to talk then you can message me here on wattpad but if I don't answer for a little bit I probably don't have Internet or its messed up. It tends to do that.
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𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔
"will you be there, even if the world was falling apart.....will you be there?" i asked. All i wanted was to feel okay, to finally be able to be free and not feel as if life held me by the throat. "yes i will." he answered "i will be there." he repeated, as if he tried to convince himslef rather then me. "i promise." he said. what a lie..... where were you then? where were you when i was on my knees screaming in agony waiting for someone to strip the pain from my aching heart. "i promise." you said. what a lie.... ~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~ 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝙸𝚂 𝙰 𝚂𝙷𝙾𝚁𝚃 𝚂𝚃𝙾𝚁𝚈!!!! ⚠︎𝑺𝒖𝒄𝒊𝒅𝒍𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔 ⚠︎𝑺𝒖𝒄𝒊𝒅𝒆 ⚠︎𝑩𝑶𝒀x𝐵𝑂𝑌 ⚠︎𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒔𝒉 𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒖𝒂𝒈𝒆 (𝖢𝖮𝖬𝖯𝖫𝖤𝖳𝖤𝖣)
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Just Another Cut

Lillan was depressed. "A Lost Cause" according to anyone you asked about her. She only had Lucas & Sierra, and her sister. She was an outed lesbian in the small town of Teakwood, West Virginia. A small town that hated anyone who dared to be different. She never felt like she belonged. Lillan being on the edge of life and death. She was almost ready to call it quits on life. Alexis was a lesbian and she was damn proud. When her family moves to Teakwood, West Virginia, she's not prepared for the initial judgement but can't bring it in her to care. So when she meets Lillan, the most beautiful girl she's ever laid eyes on, she sees despair and she realizes she must help Lillian.

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