Here we go again, up is down

I sitting on my bed, beside the photos of Johnny.
I started to stare at them, for no reason I started crying.
Maybe it could look like I was crazy, that isn't so.
I thought how could had been meeting Johnny, I thought; maybe what if on my birthday I could meet him.
I realised that it was impossible.
Johnny won't come just for a teenage like me, I mean I live in Italy he lives in another country.
I really cannot immagine what will happen without Johnny.
I will cry for certain but I won't just cry, I will remember him like "a good man". I don't care what all fans of Amber will say; perhaps they will be happy and open a bottle of wine, but not me. I will close my self in a room and I won't talk to anyone unless people will understand me, and how I feel.
Some people cry for his actor and then stop remember him, unless on their birthday; some are like me who cry a lot and have feelings for him even if I never met him as a friend or whatever; others just don't show their feelings and just keep them in.
I was a normal girl but I found you, I was a strange girl and you helped me to get oit of this, I was weak but you made me strong, I was no one but you made me feel someone important.
In a type of meaning he helped me getting out from situation that may be simple for you but for me make a lot.
I've met a wonderful group named TeamJDepp.
It means a lot to me.