Story cover for It's because I kept on my socks by JamesTML
It's because I kept on my socks
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Complete, First published Oct 18, 2018
A short poem I wrote when I reflected on why I felt so tired. Honestly it was mostly from lack of sleep because of how busy I am, however I decided to make something out of it. I normally do not wear socks when I am in bed, and my feet are always cold, and since I do most of my homework in bed, having my feet cold actually helps me get my homework done because helps me stay awake. I never actually equated my feet being cold to me getting homework done better in bed until now, and even now it does not make that huge of a difference.  The idea of the poem is to emphasis the fact that my exhaustion comes from a multitude of thoughts in my head and issues I am dealing with, not just because I wore socks this time, thus using irony to illustrate the immense stress many individuals my age experience as a result of the digital revolution and increased awareness of social problems. I understand this is a bit far fetched for some, however I felt the need to share this.
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This is a collection of my writing from the past 7 years. Before I started to write, I was a very lost individual, as are most teens, but I was lost in darkness. I was too afraid to move anywhere at all. I hid in the dark, debilitated by my own anxiety, sadnesses, anger, and hopelessness. I was desperate to be loved and feared it the most, I was a coward, I was self-destructive, I would mentally bend my thoughts to the point of bordering insanity. I was born into this world alone, and got too comfortable with it. Maybe I still am, but a fraction of what I used to be. This writing is extremely vulnerable, and potentially disturbing to others, as all my weaknesses, strengths, obsessions with making every moment sentimental, the sickening desperation I've had, the destructiveness, and the constant brutal reconstruction of my mind. Without guidance, it's been absolute intense chaos. Though, there is beauty in the darkness. Everything can be found in the darkness. You'll find that through my writing, I've somehow slowly become exactly what I've written. A living representation of my writing and what I wanted to be. Without myself even knowing it. A lot of my writing themes are based around nature, or some kind of natural aspect. The imagery I paint with natural metaphors is constant, the animals, just like you and I, the plants, and all other living things. I planted these seeds in my mind, unknowingly at the time, where I now feel the deep dark green jungle pressing at the inner walls of my skull. It's all that I want to consume my mind. There's so much to learn. The magic of nature, and it's infinite wisdom. It's as if I have been on this path all along, and I didn't even know what I was doing, yet my body and mind were passively taking care of me. Giving me and eventually showing exactly what I want, and wanted to become. I have every moment, every instance of suffering, and every epiphany to be thankful for. Soon, I'll be at peace from the raging storm.
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