All Too Well
- Reads 26
- Votes 5
- Parts 1
I can't pretend I have no clue what you thought. I can't pretend it doesn't make me furious when people make jokes about it, and I can't pretend like nothing happened the way they want me to.
I know the way you felt.
I've felt the same feeling of hopelessness that just chains you to weights and holds you captive underwater. You'll be held to the gritty ocean floor of your mind forever, until you breathe in and let the disgusting thoughts fill your lungs with a sharp dagger.
I know what it feels like to stand there with a tied rope in your hand, wondering if today's the day. I know what it feels like to stand on a bridge, just seconds away from jumping. I know what it feels like to stand there with a bottle of pills, wondering why you're never good enough.
Other people may not be familiar with this feeling, but I know.
I know it all too well.
~~~
WARNING: This story deals with sensitive topics like suicide and mental illness in a pretty blunt way.
DISCLAIMER: Any photos I use weren't taken by me and all credit goes to the original owners.
~~~
2nd place winner in the Short Story genre of the 2018 Autumn Awards!
2nd place winner in the Short Story genre of the 2018 Typer's Awards!
All Rights Reserved
Join the largest storytelling communityGet personalized story recommendations, save your favourites to your library, and comment and vote to grow your community.
You may also like
Walking Into Black
Don't fear death. It does nothing for you. Death is at every turn; the challenge is if you choose to accept it or not. Don't fear pain. Pain is how you learn. Pain is the side-effect of life. If you live life fearing getting hurt...can you truly live life fully? I've felt pain. I've accepted death. I've lived, I've learned, I've drowned a few times. If all I have to show for it is small bundles of letters and words...so be it. That's more than I could have ever hoped for. Everything that means anything to me are just words. You can put anything into words. Anything and everything. You can put death into words. You can put pain into words. You can put fear into words. And I have. And you can read them, if you want. You can learn from them; learn to stop fearing, learn to stop living in the future, behind your mask. But only if you care enough to listen. I speak loud and clear, yet nobody can hear me. I am not hidden, yet nobody can find me. If they even try.Complete
BARROW ME A SHELTER
-Look at me! Look at my body and don't you dare to lie and say that is normal. People look at me like I was a disease, a contagious disease who gets attached to you, like a virus, travels through your body burns your hope, range shots your dreams, massacre your faith and your mental health. A virus that makes people gossip, whisper about everything. Your clothes size, your stretched skin, the amount of fat that you carry every where you go. You don't know what Is is like to live as I do. This virus eats me alive , makes me crave and urge for food , while I have my face buried in the toilet , throwing up , eating back, exercise and control. You can't love me, you can't love something like me, ans i know. It's a nightmare that crawls up my mind in pure day light. _____________________________________ He needed to met the next sunset in hopes he would starve to death or find the end of the road to a Clift, where his body could be found at the end of the tale that was written to be his life, however his tale couldn't end there, where his fears would be transported to the next life and hunt him for eternity.forced to find a placed after escaping death, at this new journey he found the healing his body, mind, soul needed, so did she.Complete
Locked In
You don't believe me anyways. You don't see me throwing away my inhibitions or filling up my online shopping cart. You don't see me diving into new life goals and careers and areas of study. You don't see my cry to myself in the car when my chest sinks in and my head gets crushed in a vice. You don't feel the panic in my stomach whenever I must make human contact. And you sure don't see how hard I try. How I wake up every morning and apply my mask. My work mask- to conceal all of this. But.... It's been the same mask for many years And my mask is wearing thin. My sadness, my anger, my paranoia and grand euphoria are trying to become a part of your world too. A world where it's not welcome. A world where it's not understood, where it's frowned upon.Complete
Atlantis Academy: The First Element
Five Star Reviews for Atlantis Academy: "Omg this book was amazing I couldn't put it down or stop reading. I carried it with me open on my phone while I did everything just to keep reading. I need more of all of this. Epic story, epic content, epic visuals, just epic. LOVE THIS!" "Once I got into this story, I did not stop reading it. This is a beautiful story about a very awkward girl who is riven with so much pain and angst and yet... this makes her who she is and shapes her into the person she will become. The world she finds herself awakened to is magical and yet filled with the all-too-familiar cliques and tribes of the very human people who inhabit it. One word to describe the story: beautiful!" "The story pulls you headlong to the end and leaves you wanting to shout "No! Not yet!" ...If there were 6 stars, I would have given it that." *** Humanity is one secret society away from extinction. The children of Atlantis use magic to keep us safe. If they make it through the Academy. Hi, I'm Lyric. And I'm kind of a mess. ADHD, that's me. I'm a high school drop-out, late everywhere I go, and one screw-up away from being homeless. I'm a loner, and I like it that way. Who needs friends when you have a Redwood forest nearby? Trees never bully me like the kids did at school. Or get drunk and throw things at my head. After my mom died, I figured life couldn't get much worse. I thought it might even get better. Ha. The universe has a great sense of humor. I should've listened to the rumors about evil spirits. About the angry, ancient magical creatures haunting our small Oregon Coast town. But did I? No. That was my first mistake. And it might be my last. 'Cause now I'm in a battle for my life. A whole new world has opened up... a magical world I don't understand. And the blood in my veins says I belong here. But I have to prove myself to save myself. And when have I ever done that?Complete
Within Reach
~One more step, was all it would take. To end it all. And here I was, about to take it.~ But what can you do when death doesn't want you dead? When life won't let you go? When the one person you truly live for is someone who your entire being screams at you to run from. When the world tips you upside down and leaves you there to hang. When the person you surround your self with is someone you should only ever meet once. When everything in your past messes with your future. Because Life was never meant to be this way. Not like this. For me, Living became a much harder thing to do, as soon as I found my reason for it. For something I'd always begged for, wants me too. But not how I would have ever deemed possible. It's not what I expected. For I'd never have imagined how close within my reach death really was.Complete
The Citizen Soldier (DNF)
!!Trigger warning: suicide, Implied/Referenced Self Harm!! Warnings before sections. . This book is currently discontinued, if I find motivation to finish it it is not in the foreseeable future. . "Trust me." His voice was soft and calming, the way that a good father could be assumed to sound. "This isn't what you want, it never has been and it never will be. Confusion is difficult to work through, but if you just let me help you, I can show you that it can be worked through." He rolled up his sleeve, showing several white streaks across his skin. The other was shocked. "N-no, I'm not good for anything, I'm nothing there's nothing for me." He shook his head many times, holding it in his hands after a bit. "No." "Can I touch you?" The boy who was trying to help this poor soul had approached a few paces. His voice was now quieter, more soft, and still caring. The boy at the bridge took a moment to think, then nodded his approval. The savior gently took the boy's hands delicately in his own and gently pulled the boy back. Well, less of a pull and more of a gentle suggestion. It worked and the boy stumbled down off of the edge. The boy started to cry. How could he be so weak that a boy, the same age as him, who seemed to have the same ideas and hatred toward himself as he, could keep him from stepping off? The other simply gently led him to his vehicle and took out a water bottle out of the backseat. The boy took it and looked at it suspiciously. "It's untampered, look, it's still sealed." Upon seeing this, the boy opened it and took a few sips of water. "Thank you. For the water." The savior smiled. "It's nothing much." He shrugged. "Have a phone? If you want I can put my number in and then you'll always be able to tell someone if you're having a pissy day." Surprisingly enough, the boy agreed. . They would both be around twenty.Complete
Catastrophically Carla (Lesbian Story)
Ages 14+ (lesbian concepts and some profanity) This is not your everyday love story, okay? It's not a chick flick either. The events and themes within my pages have meaning, depth, truth-and most of all, reality. You are about to be taken on an adventure about a girl who's life is not like everybody else's. I look like a normal teen girl, I mean, I have hair and two eyes and two hands and feet like everybody else, but I couldn't feel more different. I have two moms, yes. Let's just get that out there before you start reading and close my diary like everyone in my life has shut me out of theirs. All I want is a normal life with normal friends who don't judge me because of my home situation. I don't even remember the last time I went on a sleepover or called somebody my age. I don't mean to be a downer, because it does get better. Life gets better. Struggles are only temporary, I know that now. And by my last words reach your eyes, I've come a long way, and have grown to see potential in myself. I'm sharing this with you because I want to make a difference. I know now that I'm not the only one in the world that feels alone. I've been there, done that, and there's more loneliness to come, but for now, I feel more prepared for it. I know how it feels to sit by yourself at lunch every day and how it feels to watch others go to prom with dates and feel like shit because you don't think you'd even have any friends to go with. Please ready my diary. I am much older now, and much more wiser, and I can't wait for you to realize the potential in yourself, too.Complete
The 12 Elementals
Yet again Darkness is hungry for a war to end it all, but Light will always have troops at the ready. One girl. One kingdom. Eleven friends. Four Elements. No biggie. * I'm Melody, hybrid freak, nice to meet you, strange muggle who I know nothing about. I used to be like you, cluelessly ignorant and uninvolved with the outside world. You know, they have a big, yellow ball of gas in the sky. Weird. Anyway my life became something out of a bad Si-Fi movie, and no, Nicolas Cage isn't in it (sadly). There are two forces in the world, Light and Darkness, and when you side with Light, Darkness gets a stick up its ass and wants you to suffer. My friends and I, we roll with Light, you must know where that leads.... I have a kingdom to learn, powers to master, loud friends to keep in line, a boy that I'm messed up over, and above it all, Darkness to show whose boss. Not as easy as you might think, but this is MY story, and I know how it ends. Being a loyal follower of Light shows me the beauty in life and the devastation it can cause. Don't get me wrong, I love Light, but Darkness makes it hard to stay and fight. * Melody is weird. She's childish. She's awkward. And she's got boy issues she needs to work out. Mel will face evil like no other, but can she do it? Will the scales of Light and Darkness finally be tipped? How can one girl make a difference? This is Melody, a corky teenager, and she wants you to read her story. Like now. Enjoy! Highest rank- #69 in Fantasy (Still cant believe it!!)Complete
The Light and the One Just Like Me
"I don't understand him, and I don't think I'll ever do. The way he thinks, the way he looks at the world, it's just confusing. But it hurt. My chest wouldn't stop hurting, no matter what I did. It was never like this. With her, it didn't hurt this bad. With them, it didn't hurt this bad. It hurts... It hurts... Someone... make it stop... Please..." Content warning: Suicides, Panic Attacks, Medicine Overdoes, Death, Depression (Please do not read if you are currently depressed or are having thoughts of suicide, though my dm will be opened if anyone wants to talk)Complete![The Trouble with Trust [COMPLETED]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/240554796-256-k368525.jpg)
The Trouble with Trust [COMPLETED]
I'm about to tell you a story about a girl. A normal girl. A girl that had no cares in the world, until her trust for it was stripped away. When you read her story, you'll find yourself trusting her, loving her, rooting for her. But you see, not everyone gets to trust the world. Not everyone has a happy ending. --- Halfway through the kiss however, his attitude changed; instead of being a loving embrace, it became a fierce trap. His grip on her waist tightened, trapped her where she was instead of simply holding her where he wanted her. The hand in her hair grabbed a section of it, enforcing his demand for her not to go anywhere. Before she knew what was happening, he left go of her hair, and pushed her to the ground. She gasped, suddenly able to breathe. He stood up and walked over to her. He placed a soft hand on her cheek, just like he used to when he was telling her how special she was to him. None of the emotion was there this time however, all she could feel radiating from his was rage. "You shouldn't have run off, babe," he said bitterly. "I was about to show you how much I loved you. Instead, I now have to show you what happens when you anger me." --- The men regarded her, before she was shoved to the ground and one produced a whip. There, laying broken on the floor, as the other girls watched, she was whipped. Slowly, she felt her skin breaking in time with her heart and her will.Complete
Don't fear death. It does nothing for you. Death is at every turn; the challenge is if you choose to accept it or not. Don't fear pain. Pain is how you learn. Pain is the side-effect of life. If you live life fearing getting hurt...can you truly live life fully? I've felt pain. I've accepted death. I've lived, I've learned, I've drowned a few times. If all I have to show for it is small bundles of letters and words...so be it. That's more than I could have ever hoped for. Everything that means anything to me are just words. You can put anything into words. Anything and everything. You can put death into words. You can put pain into words. You can put fear into words. And I have. And you can read them, if you want. You can learn from them; learn to stop fearing, learn to stop living in the future, behind your mask. But only if you care enough to listen. I speak loud and clear, yet nobody can hear me. I am not hidden, yet nobody can find me. If they even try.
More detailsContent Guidelines