In love with my best friend boyxboy

I'm Rafael and I am gay just putting that out there. I love this guy but um well he's my best friend and I've had a crush on him for three years. Well probaly longer but that's when I realized it. He's straight and doesn't know that I'm gay or that I have a crush on him. My mom died when I was 10 and my dads abusive. I never talk much but I keep a smile on my face cause I don't want to draw attention. I get bullied a lot but most of the time now ever since Chris was my best friend they've left me alone when I'm with him. At first I covered up why I had bruises from their punches but he became doubtful after a while and let me tell you he was not happy with those bullies when I told him. But anyway just read and see what it's like. (This is also two guys I ship in my school *squeal* I just made the story up)