This Isn't Me.
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It's not what they want. It's your distraction. The way to get out of this dark hole. Slowly fading away. Drowning in your own tears, and darkness. Breaking promises like breaking a tooth-pick. "Never again", you say, "Last time", you try to convince yourself. How long have you kept that going? Also, don't forget, food is like a disease, and it wants to poison you. So don't eat. I want to stop eating. I want to stop speaking. I want to stop smiling. But I'm afraid someone will notice and do something stupid like...save me. But then again I think, who is my hero. I remember, I'm alone. If she has a smile, she's okay, right? But that girl, laughing and having a good time is dying inside. Hides everything because she fears pity. Worthless Broken Nothing Not all scars show, not all wounds heal. Sometimes you can't always see, the pain someone feels. I'm Nylah Ellie Hanes, and I believe in bad endings. :) Believable?
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Broken. I'd say that's a good way to describe me. Even as the world fell to pieces, I still desperately tried to collect mine, hoping that maybe I could put myself back together. But when the world turned evil and dark, and insanity fell upon the innocent, I had no choice but to build a new Beth. A new girl. That way, no matter how many people I was forced to kill, I wouldn't shatter. Excerpt: The mistakes of your past will affect your future. I've figured that out over the years of mistakes I've seen bleed from my parents. I don't really know how to describe the consequences of those mistakes, because you can see them all over my body. You can see the bruises from the beatings and the pain flashing in my eyes. The moment you realize I won't smile at you because you're a man who could potentially overpower me and harm me... it's heartbreaking for some people. I've gotten used to the belt lashes and the screaming and the crying and the rejection. So much so that when it was taken away, that scared little girl inside of me tore through my walls, and I broke. Yet, after all the crap I saw and the suffering I endured without the help of my parents, I realized I could handle it. I could shove away the terrified me and fight. I could fight for my friends, and for my sister. Maybe I'll die, maybe I won't. But either way, I'm going to fight to survive until I draw my final breath.
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