I loved a monster

He gave me chills when I seen him . I would have nightmares about him beating me . There was nights that I would wake up screaming . There's nights where I wouldn't go to bed until I knew 100% all the doors and windows in the house were locked . I even locked my bedroom door . His name was Joseph and I thought he loved me and he was actually decent but after dating him for 5 years I come to find out that for 5 years hed been planning on killing me and then I seen that he had a history of his girlfriends disappearing, now I'm afraid for my life because I found out his secrets so now he might be out to kill me .