Poèmes humoristiques - Marie - Wattpad

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Poèmes humoristiques

Reads 41
Votes 8
Parts 4
Time <5 mins

Reads 41
Votes 8
Parts 4
Time <5 mins

concentré connerie creativite folie humour poeme recueil

Ceci est un recueil avec uniquement des poèmes humoristiques, il n'y a aucune haine, aucun racisme dans ces textes. Il ne faut SURTOUT PAS se sentir visé, ou prendre ces poèmes au premier degré.

Ces textes m'appartiennent intégralement, si vous voulez vous "accaparer" un de mes textes, ayez l'obligeance de me demander avant. Si vous voulez citer un de mes textes, veuillez mettre des guillemets et citer votre source ensuite (c'est-à-dire moi).

Bonne lecture à vous, j'attends vos avis avec impatience!

HeavyletalAll Rights Reserved

concentré connerie creativite folie humour poeme recueil

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4 parts

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Poetry's Tale to Tell by The_Potato_Writer

One sample of my work (Note not all poems will be so serious, some are story like others are light hearted): "Every day, something happens... Someone gets bullied, Just because "They're different" "Nerdy" "Annoying" "Have no sense of fashion..." All those things are of unimportance...! Everyone has a choice, Don't let what someone says, change it! You could stand down... Watch as the victim pleads for help... That's the easy path, But is it the right one? Do you want that on your consciousness? The pain can be so bad... It takes a life... Then it's too late, Regret becomes your best mate... A depressing thought... Although. It doesn't have to be that way...! YOU can make it change! Stand tall, speak loud, Stand up for what is right! That one action... Can save a life...! You could make a friend, A REAL friend. Spread awareness and Right the wrong! Be brave! For those who suffer... You're not alone...! If there's no knight to slay The evil demons away... Find it within you, to be strong! If you get no help, save yourself! You deserve happiness, and it will come! For karma never forgets you! Nor your enemies... Once it comes around, it will go around... Speak out, you will be heard...! The era of bullying will be no longer...!"

Connections | ✔️ by CxTannir

[COMPLETE] Sorry this may be cringe, it was written very long ago A seemingly ordinary, working college girl meets a cool, undeniably sexy boy with millions of followers at his feet. How will their completely different lives allow, or prevent them from getting what they want? Expect some drama, flirty lines, steamy scenes, funny best friends, and perhaps, an overall epic love connection. ~ Carter came around the corner as his eyes darkened with a predatory gaze. Oh no. He took a step forward, minimalizing the distance with every dominating stride, as I froze in my spot. My breath hitched as his arms finally encircled my waist and his eyes locked with mine. In one swift motion, he flipped my body so my back was pressed against his chest and hands gripped the curve of my hips. "What game are you trying to play at Valerie?" he spoke in a husky voice. Goosebumps danced along my skin as his hot breath fanned against the shell of my ear and his fingertips lit a trail of blazing heat along the length of my arm. Mentally shaking myself from the trance of that which is Carter Bryson, I tilted my head towards him and whispered; "One where you'll lose." Quickly escaping his hold on me before the tension became unbearable, I spun on my heel to face him and slowly backed away towards the exit. "Good luck though." I added mischievously. With a smirk and a devilish glint in his eyes that could even give hell a run for its money, he replied; "I'm not a player though, baby. I'm the gamemaker." ~ ❗️Mature content. Reader discretion advised. Started 29/09/18. Finished 16/12/18. This book is not to be copied or reproduced in any way.

deғyιng ғaтeѕ: deмon qυeen'ѕ Diary by Ryzracxx

тнe dιary lιғe oғ a vιllaιn, deмon queen wιтн тнe worldѕ ѕтrongeѕт нero тнaт ever вeen вorn and тнere ғrιendѕ. end ! ѕave! reѕтarт! conтaιn >daιry enтrιeѕ (мoѕтly) >ѕcrιpт ѕтyle enтrιeѕ (a ғew ) >ѕecreт enтrιeѕ > lιттle evenтѕ ιn novel lιĸe enтry. тнιѕ ιѕ noт a тranѕlaтιon вυт a orιgιnal ѕтory oғ мιne pleaѕe don'т ѕтole ιт. warnιng ιт conтaιn вad wordѕ and ѕoмe мaтυre conтenт.

Harper's Rules 1 & 2 by still_just_me

We're not in love. Our past is a dumpster fire. The best we are is friends with benefits... without the friends' part. Jake Harrison, USC's star quarterback, goes through girls faster than jock straps. If that's not disgusting enough, he's my best friend's brother and my prime motivation for celibacy. Transferring to UCLA means finally getting out of my dad's house. All I want is to stay under the social radar, make Dad proud by earning my paralegal certification, and get out of Los Angeles. When Jake learns I'm nearby, the cocky jerk will stop at nothing to rekindle what didn't work before. He thinks he's grown and matured past the boy who crushed my teenage heart. I think he's taken too many tackles into the turf, but when he proposes a stress management agreement during his season... I can't help but see his point. His seven-and-a-half-inch point. The last time we indulged, we got sloppy. Not the good kind-soul-crushing feelings-sloppy. My brain knows cutting ties was for the best, but the rest of my body still hates me. But I won't be made a fool again. This time, I have rules: No attachment. No cuddles. And no falling in love. Yet, when treacherous feelings resurface, I do the worst thing possible-Break my own rules. This time, whoever falls first isn't getting back up. Story is complete. It will be edited and expanded to 3 books in 2024. Highest ranks: 1 - university, casualsex, nostrings, spinoff, lovehaterelationship, football, steamy, badassreads 2 - college, enemieswithbenefits, collegestories, sports, quarterback, maturelanguage 4 - love! 6 - chicklit 28 - romance! 65 - fiction

Deadly Rhymes and Laughing Times VOL I by The_Outkast

Short stories turned into poems for the "best of both worlds" experience. I don't relate to most of them but A LOT of people from all around do. Since we can't physically see what people are going through; at least these words are there to comfort them❤️❤️ This blog is dedicated to all of you✨ ACHIEVEMENTS:❤️❤️❤️ 1st Place winner of Poetry Category in Freedom Awards✨✨✨✨ 1st Place Winner of Poetry Category in Blue Rose Awards✨✨✨✨ 2nd Place Winner of Random Category in Wicked Awards✨✨✨✨ Winner of Best Cover in Wicked Awards 3rd Place winner of Poetry Category in Chaos Awards✨✨✨✨ 3rd Place winner of Poetry Category in The Rose Awards✨✨✨✨ A Winner in Poetry Category of EYHO Awards✨✨✨✨ Highest Ranking: #976 in Poetry #524 - 21/8 #338 - 23/8 #243 - 26/8 #220 - 7/9 #104 - 10/9 #98. - 6/11 #81. - 7/11 #68. - 12/11 #57. - 19/11 #46. - 04/12 #FrenchFriesandPopsicleSkies

15 Days With The Possessive Billionaire by oneperson100feelings

"You are mine now. Just remember one thing nobody gets the privilege of bringing that smile on your face and touching you" he clenched his fsts and moved forward. My breath hitched. "I want to see you smile every morning and lie beside you each night. I cannot think of somebody more perfect for me then you are. Your my strength and biggest weakness. You complete me. I could do anything to bring a smile on your face and kill any man who brings a tear." I cant believe it, the college bad boy who had every girl on his feet wanted me. Suddenly his hand started moving around my thigh making circles on them. He leaned forward. Our lips were so close still he did not kiss me. What a tease! His finger was going to enter me when he stopped. ******************* When Ayan's friends challenge him to bed the new girl Veronica, the only way he thought would bring her close was a vacation away from all of them. It gets messy when feelings started pouring in. Veronica fell in love. Or I think she did. After all- Who doesn't want a guy who is handsome, caring and loves you like your his only possession in this world. Did he know she was pregnant? Read in to discover them trying to discover their own mysteries. This book is a roller coaster of love, lust, heartbreaks.

WULF : Gang Of Wolves - Motorcycle Romance | Dark Romance | MC Romance by edenivey

"Are you ready, baby?" I'm asking her as much as I'm asking myself. She never lets her eyes leave mine. "Mm," she nods and I push all the way in. Her face twists in a mixture of torment and temptation. I hold myself still, feeling her tightness wrap every inch of me. Leaning forward, I press my forehead to hers. "No one will ever get you like I do. No one will ever f ck you like I do. No one will ever love you like I do, baby." --Though she's young, Silvie has spent a lifetime paying for other people's mistakes. That's what landed her in the sights of a wolf. A Gang of Wolves to be exact. Everything Wulf does is for his motorcycle club, but when Silvie- young, innocent, and sweet, enters the picture things change. He takes an interest in the little pixie who becomes more than just a payment for her brother's debts. What happens when a woman begins to tame the beast of her predator? What happens when a wolf learns he wants to be a protector? ** This story is a Dark Romance. If you want a fairy tale, read Cinderella. Yes, this book has a HEA, but there are a lot of bumps and bruises along the way. This book is real and sometimes raw. If you have triggers, expect some of them to be pulled** Highest Ranking - #1 Dark Romance #1 Age Gap #1 Alpha Male

Billionaire Next Door✔ by hannahosell

I shrunk back into my seat as his head snapped towards me. He looked like his head was going to fall off. His eyes were blazing with rage. His face was set into an icy glare. His fists that rested on the table were clenched so hard his knuckles were white. As he stood from his chair so did I. I felt like the prey to the biggest predator in the jungle. I took two steps back for every stride he took towards me. I gulped again before shaking me head. "She's just joking Ace." my voice quivered as I took another two steps back. "How do I know that?" he sneered down at me, his body towering over me. As I went to take another step backwards, my back made contact with the wall behind me. Well great. Now I'm cornered. This is just typical. ............................................................. One girl moves to the big apple after her family disintegrates around her. All she has left is her one brother. Well, that's what she thought. She attends college like a normal girl and even gains a job on the side with someone who just so happens to be her neighbor. One man has lived in a house most of his adult life. He owns multiple clubs and watched as his family disintegrated around him. All he has left is his sister. A small fragile girl moves next door and he finds himself infatuated. He lands her a job... As his assistant. He is dangerous. She is sly. He is rude. She is sweet. He can not lie and not get away with it. She can make any lie seem like the sweetest truth. She is a bad girl that hasn't been caught. He is a great catcher. Read to find out their twisted story.

Random Thoughts Random Poems by MissNutMe

I am cringing but I wrote these to distract myself from my exams, pardon me for this. "Randomly made perfectly flawed" I hope you all will enjoy these poems as much as I had enjoyed jotting the small phrases on a rough paper and making it in something rhythmic.❤ Some said my poems made them cry and some said it made them laugh? Some made them smile some made them sad. Some said it's my randomness and some said it's lovely!? Highest rank that I managed to notice ?? #62 out of 545 on "Mood" 🌺 I am sure that these are not perfect, but I am here to learn and I hope we get to learn together. -Missnutme. All of the contents inside, except for the YouTube videos(music videos or any other videos taken from YouTube) that is used for fun, are only of Missnutme. That is me over here *waves* Please let me know if you find anyone else using MY ORIGINAL POEMS claiming it to be theirs (or using it) without MY permission. All Rights Reserved👀📜

🥊 Hate or Fate 💕 {Enemies to Lovers} by WhiskeySeattle

One day you're happy, and the next, a freak accident exposes your boyfriend's dirty little secrets in the worst possible way. I lost the man I loved, my trust in people, and my home in less than one afternoon. At least I know that I've pushed past unimaginable pain before, and I can do it again. Elijah didn't break me, just my heart. 💔🔨 So, the LAST thing I needed was to run into my ex's best friend, Gray on the street. Who cares if he's hotter than lava? Gray's a cocky jerk who seems to get a misguided kick out of making my blood boil. And did I mention the guy's got a chip on his tattooed shoulder even bigger than his inflated ego? Unfortunately, I just found out that I accidentally hired him to work on the BIGGEST campaign of my career!💀 But when Gray's prismatic eyes fill with heartfelt apologies, I don't know how to feel. It's messing with my mind, my career, my new friendships, and worst of all, it's hurting what's left of my ruined heart. I thought Gray hated me, but I was wrong...There is something much, much stronger that binds our fate. 🥊💕 This book contains adult themes (aka sexy stuff and trigger content) as well as Oxford commas and the occasional grammatical error. 🥊💕 **This is a complete story that I am currently in the process of editing, so feedback, notes, and helpful comments are always welcome. Bullying and harassing others for their comments as well as shameless self-promotion of things not related to the content will be deleted.** Highest Ranks: 🥊💕 #6 in #mature 😍😆🙏 🥊💕 #15 in #adultromance 😍🥰 🥊💕 #69 in #unrequited 😋😛😝 🥊💕 #92 in #tattoos 🥊💕 #18 in #badboylovestory 🥊💕 #1 & #2 in #adultthemes li

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Slide 1 of 10

Poetry's Tale to Tell cover

Connections | ✔️ cover

deғyιng ғaтeѕ: deмon qυeen'ѕ Diary cover

Harper's Rules 1 & 2 cover

Deadly Rhymes and Laughing Times VOL I cover

15 Days With The Possessive Billionaire cover

WULF : Gang Of Wolves - Motorcycle Romance | Dark Romance | MC Romance cover

Billionaire Next Door✔ cover

Random Thoughts Random Poems cover

🥊 Hate or Fate 💕 {Enemies to Lovers} cover

Poetry's Tale to Tell

One sample of my work (Note not all poems will be so serious, some are story like others are light hearted): "Every day, something happens... Someone gets bullied, Just because "They're different" "Nerdy" "Annoying" "Have no sense of fashion..." All those things are of unimportance...! Everyone has a choice, Don't let what someone says, change it! You could stand down... Watch as the victim pleads for help... That's the easy path, But is it the right one? Do you want that on your consciousness? The pain can be so bad... It takes a life... Then it's too late, Regret becomes your best mate... A depressing thought... Although. It doesn't have to be that way...! YOU can make it change! Stand tall, speak loud, Stand up for what is right! That one action... Can save a life...! You could make a friend, A REAL friend. Spread awareness and Right the wrong! Be brave! For those who suffer... You're not alone...! If there's no knight to slay The evil demons away... Find it within you, to be strong! If you get no help, save yourself! You deserve happiness, and it will come! For karma never forgets you! Nor your enemies... Once it comes around, it will go around... Speak out, you will be heard...! The era of bullying will be no longer...!"