living half a life.

living half a life.

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WpMetadataNoticeLast published Mon, Nov 5, 2018
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Non-Fiction
I'm not straight. I'm not sure what exactly but I am nowhere near straight. And that, is the reason why, I'm living half a life. - As a kid, I was raised homophobic in a religious homophobic community and household. It wasn't an easy road. Everyday I live in fear of being exposed to my family. I struggled accepting who I was. I felt like.. I was wrong. I thought I was alone. I was not alone. No one is alone. And to anyone who was in the same situation as mine, living half a life, I know how you feel too. This is the story of the real me.
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#244
internalizedhomophobia
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The average human being spends every second of his day fighting against the force of nature to see another day. But I'm different. I'm not afraid of outside forces to take my life away - only myself. Approximately 10 years ago, something happened to me. Something really bad. But I'm not allowed to talk about it. As a way to release my frustration, I give hell to my body and everyone I come in contact with - especially my parents. No one knows about what happened except the ones who did it...and Him. But he didn't stay. Now, he's back and he's not talking either. I want to stop hurting, I need to stop. Make me stop.

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