Homeward Bound Part One: An Unexpected Journey
51 parts Complete Bilba Baggins couldn't be happier. She's embraced her Baggins' half and has placated her Took half with a short trip to Bree (the most adventure she ever wishes to have). In addition, she is convinced Fram Harfoot, the most eligible bachelor in all of Hobbiton, will soon declare his eternal love for her - particularly after he sees the dinner she's prepared for him. When the knock sounds on her door she just knows it heralds the first day of the rest of her life as a respectable, and entirely proper, Hobbit.
Instead of her Happily Ever After, however, Bilba gets a company of Dwarves - complete with their obnoxious leader who MIGHT be vaguely attractive if he ever stopped ruining it by opening his mouth.
Clearly the only possible explanation is somewhere, in a past life, she must have done something truly AWFUL to deserve this.