Mostly I am angry; I live with a heart of envy and malice, wounded from spite, project my negativity onto others, seek to control, exert power. When attack comes, should there be no defender, I channel the lioness. I roar, stand my ground, defend self and others. Afterward, in private, I am shaken, drained, wishing to run to a dark hole and hide. But now Mostly I am calm; on those days my spirit home is a gentle river. I flow, create peace, bring harmony. When I feel completely safe I show my spirit animal - the rabbit who comes to play, my underneath personality whom few have ever seen. I laugh freely, become soft, playful, hopeful. I know myself. I am proud of who I am; I like the person I became and I think the child version of me would too. I am the same girl, living to love. But sometimes I wonder; What happened to Fay?