Recovery is Not Real
- Reads 175
- Votes 8
- Parts 5
Ongoing7m
Last published Sun, Aug 11, 2019
When it comes to eating I can't find a middle ground. I wanted a place to openly share my struggles. Not just for others ,but also so I can get my feelings out.
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#85
starving
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Dear Ana,
"I fell into darkness but I didn't mind, I liked it." Amy Adams thought everything was alright, but when she heard her very best friend Rose committed suicide, her world turned upside down. Amy couldn't understand, why? But Amy found Rose's diary at her wake and everything became clear. Rose was anorexic. Rose wrote about her two guardians Ana and Mia, they helped her, or something. Amy didn't understand a thing, but not for long. Because Amy would also meet her fate with the two angels of death. Just like Rose. Amy has a hard time fitting in after her only connection to a social life left her alone. Amy get's lost and tries to save herself. But how can you pull yourself out of a hole where you can't see the edge? Amy does make new friends and she even falls in love but everything is on the verge of falling apart. How does she plan on keeping her 'new habit' a secret? and when will Amy really understand?Complete
I've Got It Under Control
Jules is forced to live a life in the psychiatric ward after her eating disorder nearly ends up taking her life. Stuck in a life that is contained within four walls, while she fights her battle with an eating disorder and depression, trying to gain control of the demanding voice in her head. Finally having to admit that she can't do it herself and faces vulnerability by doing so. She endures love and heartbreak but only she can save herself. Will Jules recover and finally be free of the voice that has become the burden of her life? ~ I've Got It Under Control That's what she thought. That's what they all think when it first starts. They had control, had, past tense. Now they wish they did. Their bodies are screaming for help but their head is saying otherwise. Hunger coursed through Jules's body, the rumble of her stomach was like a thunderstorm, violent and painful. It scared her, yet it also satisfied her. She started to skip breakfast, and once she realised she didn't need breakfast, she knew she wouldn't need lunch nor dinner. ~TW: Goes into depth about eating disorders, mentions about suicide and self harm. View at your own risk~Complete
Suffer
Everyone suffers no matter how much we think we're alone, there maybe someone out there more disconnected from the rest of the world. If you had the power to help the other and didn't take it does that make you a bad person? If you had one chance to correct the world would you take it? If you were given one power what would it be? No matter what choice you make it will come haunting back to you. The good the bad there's a fine line between what people perceive as good and bad it's up to you to decide that.Complete
Empty- Girl Meets World
I wanted to write down exactly how I felt but somehow the paper stayed empty and I could not have described it any better.Complete
The Diary of Me
I have marked this story as "completed" but I don't know if it will ever actual be complete. This is my journal, my secrets, my thoughts. This is The Diary of Me.Complete
It was under control
Jules Hart returns to the psychiatric ward, her life has fallen apart once again. She had it under control. Or was it all just her imagination? She encounters trials and tribulations with her eating disorder recovery, being forced into situations like no other; ending in painful repercussions and unhealthy coping mechanisms. After deciding she no longer wants help, Jules escapes the psychiatric ward; resulting in her attempting to take her own life. The consequence of her actions, broke Tom's heart in the process, all the while he held her sick body. Her life has led her down the path of having to recover from not only the torturous eating disorder, but the addictive self harm and torment of the suicidal ideation. Let's just hope Jules gets her happy ending... ~ "GET OFF ME! GET THE HELL OFF ME! I DON'T LIKE BEING TOUCHED! GET THE FUCK OFF ME. TOM PLEASE HELP ME. TOM! PLEASE GET THEM OFF ME. I'M SO SCARED!" Jules's fragile body was making a forceful connection with the cold and unsympathetic ground. Her bloodline exiting and tainting her body and all of the surroundings. Her painful and emotional screams echoed the white corridor, while Jules's body shook and shivered, and dizzy spells with blurry covered eyes; forced her body and mind to experience a feeling of disconnection. The fit of fear that swirled in the pit of Jules's stomach made her head jolt violently side to side, along with front and back; causing her forehead to strike the floor. ~TW: Eating disorder, suicide and self harm mentioned throughout~Complete
Starving For Help
"I smile everyday. I live my life like nothing is wrong with me. No one would ever guess that I'm screaming inside or that I've secretly been hiding this huge part of my life. No one would ever know that I cry myself to sleep at night or that deep down I'm starving for help." Welcome to Anorexia. Your hostess is Ana. She'll take over from here. Suffering alone inside of your mind from a terrifying mental disorder, is something that even those who battle such a thing every day, cannot fully understand. It's like being alone 24/7 yet it's never quiet inside of your head. You can't stop the voices. You can't control your emotions. As it gets worse, you lose control of your body all together. You become prey to your disease and You can't fight back. That is what it's like for someone who has spent years of their life suffering in silence from an eating disorder. Fighting a monster that you have no chance of beating. It's almost impossible to describe the type of torture that consumes your mind. Hell. It's equivalent to pure hell.Complete
Family Comes First
Being alone? Check. Being afraid? Check. Being abused? Check times 3. Honestly, my life wasn't this bad before, not until I ended in foster care... SIKE! My life was always bad. From the moment I was born, I lived with an abusive father who blamed me for my mother's death, and even I couldn't disagree with him. Here are a few questions I am constantly asked: 'Do I do well in school?' No, are you kidding me? The only subject I'm good at is Visual Arts. 'Do I have a kind and caring family?' No, I don't think I do. 'Do I have anyone who cares about me?' No, I'm a loner and socially awkward. 'Do I have privileges?' No, if you haven't understood the message yet, I live in an abusive household. Now, you might ask if there are any questions the answer is yes. I'll give you some. 'Do I want to die?' Yes, I sometimes do. 'Do I feel alone in this world?' Yes, always. 'Do I get a beating every day?' Yes. *** This is Amara Williams, a 13 year-old with average grades and no friends. What happens when her only guardian, her dad, is dead? What happens when she finds out that she has five older brothers who are not only strict and demanding, but also protective assholes? More importantly, what happens when she finds out that she was taught lies from the moment she was born? Follow Amara as she digs deeper into her family history, uncovering the secrets and discovering the lies. ___ ⚠️ Trigger Warning ⚠️ There will be mentions of abuse, r@pe, self harm, death, and many other dark themes. I have given a warning now, and I will give a TW in each chapter when reading for safety reasons. However, I want all of my readers to know what to expect so that they can decided for themselves if they want to read. Read at your own discretion! ____ Highest Rankings: #1 in Rules: Oct. 18. 2020 #1 in Truth: Jan. 16. 2021 #1 in Alcohol: Jun. 18. 2021Complete
"I fell into darkness but I didn't mind, I liked it." Amy Adams thought everything was alright, but when she heard her very best friend Rose committed suicide, her world turned upside down. Amy couldn't understand, why? But Amy found Rose's diary at her wake and everything became clear. Rose was anorexic. Rose wrote about her two guardians Ana and Mia, they helped her, or something. Amy didn't understand a thing, but not for long. Because Amy would also meet her fate with the two angels of death. Just like Rose. Amy has a hard time fitting in after her only connection to a social life left her alone. Amy get's lost and tries to save herself. But how can you pull yourself out of a hole where you can't see the edge? Amy does make new friends and she even falls in love but everything is on the verge of falling apart. How does she plan on keeping her 'new habit' a secret? and when will Amy really understand?
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