Onyxmuse Critiques!
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- Parts 3
Highest Achieved #182 in critique and #118 in review
Just as the title says, I'm here to critique your stories just for the heck of it. If you're interested in an honest opinion, come right in with your defenses at bay for possible crushing (in a nice way mind you!) and see what I have to offer.
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Lunar (alpha x rouge)completed Unfinished
This story has strong language and maybe one day explicit content as of now tho there is none. It's my first story I love constructive criticism. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Lunar who goes by luna. She is a 17 year old female. Shes different from the rest, She's a werewolf but not only that her eyes change color with her emotions. She has no parents you will find out why in the story. She get a foster parent that actually treats her like a living being and moves. In this new town she encounters a pack that lives there and there alpha. Will they kill her for being a rogue or will so magic and heartache happen? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I don't want to give away to much so here's where it ends for now. This is my idea. Do not use without asking permission and if someone idea is in here I honestly didn't know because I'm coming up with this story on my ownComplete
The Beta's Unwanted Mate | ✔️ Complete
#1 werewolf #1 teenfiction "That night meant nothing to me Olivia." "You were just like another girl to me." He smirked, "and you KNOW how I do girls. I lure them," he took a crumpled paper in his hands and softly straightened it, "I fuck them. HARD." He tore the paper off in pieces, "and then, I throw them out of my life," he concluded, crushing the paper into a ball and throwing it with a perfect shot in the bin. I looked up at him in shock, anger and heartbreak. "You actually thought I got jealous!" He scoffed. Out of nowhere he threw me against the wall and I gasped as his arm pressed by my sides and he trapped me. "ALSO, DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME YOUR MATE AGAIN!" he growled, I breathed heavily as fear started crawling in. Tears flowed down my face. I struggled to breathe. "I NEVER wanted a mate. Especially not like you." He gave me a glare as if the mere sight of me disgusted him. "Who would want a mate like you anyways, huh? You're ugly, nerdy, clingy, way-too-innocent and being with you will DESTROY my social reputation." Listening to those words shattered my Wolf and she howled in pain. I gasped, trying to get some air but he pressed me against the wall harder. "Look at you," he chuckled, "So pathetic. You're not even able to defend yourself. Moon goddess made a mistake mating you with me. I will correct it ." "I won't reject you," he said, "oh no no. Rejection is easy. I will TORTURE you. I will sleep with other girls, I will flirt with them in front of your eyes and I will watch you and your wolf die everyday. I will break you to the limit where you won't ever be able to come back. And then, I will leave you to rot." "One last thing. Don't you DARE tell anyone that we are mates. Are we clear?" I nodded frantically, my heart clenching till where it was unbearable. He let out a dark chuckle and released me,"Good girl." I collapsed on the floor and almost passed out from the lack of air in my lungs. He just walked away & left me there to rot.Complete
What I Once Called Love: The Drafts
This is my story, or rather a compilation of stories that spans more than a decade. Each piece is written from a place of truth with the exception of the names mentioned. The book itself will broken into sections, with each representing a different moment of my life that was instrumental in helping me define what love is and what it is not. This is a handful of chapters available for preview. Keep in mind, these pieces are drafts so they are in no way perfect so please be patient with me. I would love your feedback though so send in your comments and thoughts. I appreciate it!Complete
my way of saying goodbye to you
this is really just me writing about my recent break up to cope with it, read if you want to, it's just to practice my writing skills. most of there ARE going to be short, so dont expect some sort of poetic letter every single time.. i basically have the reading level of a 5th grader so don't expect much💀 update as of 03/07/25: now it's just a lil diary of my life after breaking up with my recent boyfriend.. (HELP)Complete![story review shop [[ discontinued ]]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/153731757-256-k824772.jpg)
story review shop [[ discontinued ]]
Have you been searching for someone to give their honest opinion on your work? Are you browsing review books to find the next story you'll fall in love with? Me too, bro. The reviews are 100% free for those willing to have their stories criticized, and my reviews are 100% honest with a hint of sweetness to soften things up. Please, come on in and request. Give me something new to read. Give me something /good/ to read.Complete
My Brother is my Mate!!
This is NOT a story about incest so please don't get the wrong idea. Disclaimer: I made this book when I was like 12 so just beware lol "Blake how the heck are you my m-mate?" I say with the courage that I have left, which isn't very much. "Kennedy I've waited for this moment since last year." "What do you mean?" I ask while looking down at the floor avoiding his eyes. "I mean that I have known that you were my mate since I shifted but I didn't tell you, and now you finally know", he states as he comes closer and closer until we are so close I can feel his breathe on my cheek. "U-um Blake what are you doing?", I say as he looks at my lips and I gaze at his blue-green eyes. "Something I have waited way too long to do", He says as his lips come crashing onto mine. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Kennedy is a 16 year old girl. Her birthday is in 2 weeks and it will be her turn to find her mate. Also she will finally shift into her wolf. But on her birthday she will find something out that will change her life completely, not only will she find her mate but she will find something about her that will change her future..... Read to find out :) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Book Cover made by @Weirdness_Rules Highest Rank: #17 in WerewolfComplete
Yeah, I Rejected You
Then it hit me. The scent of my mate. The one I'd love and spend the rest of my days with. "Mine," he growled. I was forced up against the wall as he began to kiss me roughly. I managed to take a peek at my mate. The school's very own player. Otherwise known as the guy who infuriates me to the depths of hell. I shoved him off me and made him look me in the eye, "I don't care if you're going to be Alpha. You will always be the jerk I hate and the player I despise. I will not be looked upon as another of your minions. Yeah, I just rejected you." I snarled. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Shayla Hale is just another 15 year old werewolf, eagerly waiting for her 16th birthday so she can find her mate. She wasn't popular, and she wasn't a loner. Following her around, was the school's player, with a hobby of annoying her. She hated him for taking so much interest in her, since she knew all he was is a disappointment. Chase Anderson is the school's player, and the guy every girl swoons for. He's always found Shayla interesting, since she wasn't like the others. Witty comebacks, never sparing him a second glance. Being the hard to resist, soon to be Alpha of his Dark Wolfe pack, he needs to find his Luna. What he wasn't prepared for was his very own mate rejecting him. Will Shayla stay true to her word? Will Chase prove his mate wrong? What happens when Chase goes back to his player ways? How about when Shayla's childhood lover returns? *** I wrote this when I was 12/13 and it was the first romance/teen-fic/werewolf story I ever wrote at the time. Please go easy on my 12/13 year old self 😬Complete
The Diary of Me
I have marked this story as "completed" but I don't know if it will ever actual be complete. This is my journal, my secrets, my thoughts. This is The Diary of Me.Complete
This story has strong language and maybe one day explicit content as of now tho there is none. It's my first story I love constructive criticism. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Lunar who goes by luna. She is a 17 year old female. Shes different from the rest, She's a werewolf but not only that her eyes change color with her emotions. She has no parents you will find out why in the story. She get a foster parent that actually treats her like a living being and moves. In this new town she encounters a pack that lives there and there alpha. Will they kill her for being a rogue or will so magic and heartache happen? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I don't want to give away to much so here's where it ends for now. This is my idea. Do not use without asking permission and if someone idea is in here I honestly didn't know because I'm coming up with this story on my own
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