Onyxmuse Critiques!
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Publikasi terakhir Sab, Nov 24, 2018
Highest Achieved #182 in critique and #118 in review
Just as the title says, I'm here to critique your stories just for the heck of it. If you're interested in an honest opinion, come right in with your defenses at bay for possible crushing (in a nice way mind you!) and see what I have to offer.
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Alpha Jordan
He caressed my soft cheek with his rough hands yet so gentle whenever they touch me"Jade,my love don't leave me come back with me" He is so vulnerable. I have never seen him like this. His eyes show lot of emotions , in which love is the most "No Jordan! I don't want to live in a cage! I don't want to be with you",with that said I ran away. "Jade please come back,come back to me love,please" . Jade is human. Jordan is a werewolf. They are mates. But Jade is forced to be with him. His protective and possessive ways make her feel like she is a parrot in a cage. When his parrot flies what will he do.He will definietly chase it. You can directly go to summary of the prologues. a/n: It is my first story. Sorry if there are any mistakes and the story is not edited. More description is in 1st chapter.Lengkap
My Life, My Alpha.......My Love
"Zachary." I snickered. He growled playfully as I laughed, dodging his attempt to grab me and took off running in a random direction. I ran with Zac right on my heels, until I turned a corner and ran into a hard chest. I prepared myself for a hard fall, when two muscular arms shot out, wrapping around my waist and crushing my body against theirs. "Hello, beautiful." The person said. I looked up to see a handsome boy, probably around seventeen also. His face looked oddly familiar and while trying to figure out why, I froze. His face was inching closer and closer to mine. I could feel his breath wash over my face as his lips was parted, only inches away from my face, eyes closing slightly, when suddenly a fierce growl shot out through the silence, that had my body tingling. In a flash I was out of the mysterious boy's hold and my hand instantly reached out to steady myself. I looked up to see Zac, pinning the boy by his throat, on a nearby wall. "Keep your filthy hands to yourself, she's MINE!!!!"He growled possessively. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My name is Jessica Matthews, i'm 17 and i'm a werewolf..not only that but the alpha's daughter.My life was perfect, i had an amazing family which consisted of my parents, my older brother Jared and I, I had a wonderful bestfriend, Stacey and, even though he wasn't my mate, a perfect boyfriend, Dylan, or at least i thought so, until one night he does something unforgivable and my mate waltzes in as my knight in shining armor. But what happens when Dylan won't let me go so easily and insists that i'm his. It also does nothing to help the fact that my mate is possessive and won't let anyone have what's his. Follow me on this journey of love, lust, hurt and betrayal...and hopefully...A HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!!Lengkap
A Girl in a Forgetful World
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Yeah, I Rejected You
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Broken Butterfly
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What I Once Called Love: The Drafts
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THE HYBRID
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Crushed Underneath the Surface
For years, I've been writing in silence, creating worlds, characters, and stories that lived only in the margins of my notebooks and tucked-away folders on my computer. Writing has always been my escape, something I've done for myself-a way to step out of reality for a moment and breathe through the lives of the people I've imagined. I've written and rewritten countless stories, always hesitant to share them, never quite confident enough to let anyone else peek into the depths of my mind. It's always felt like just a hobby, something personal, something safe. But deep down, I've carried a quiet dream of becoming a writer, even though it felt a little foolish to hope for something so big. Now, after pouring myself into this story for what feels like a lifetime, I've finally done it-I've uploaded all my chapters to Wattpad, sharing this piece of me with the world. I know I still have so much to learn, and I'm always striving to get better, but I would truly appreciate any feedback-good, constructive criticism that can help me grow. This is just the beginning, but it feels like a huge step forward. Thank you for taking a chance on this book. Whatever brought you here, whether it was curiosity, a recommendation, or just a moment of wandering, I am truly grateful.Lengkap
He caressed my soft cheek with his rough hands yet so gentle whenever they touch me"Jade,my love don't leave me come back with me" He is so vulnerable. I have never seen him like this. His eyes show lot of emotions , in which love is the most "No Jordan! I don't want to live in a cage! I don't want to be with you",with that said I ran away. "Jade please come back,come back to me love,please" . Jade is human. Jordan is a werewolf. They are mates. But Jade is forced to be with him. His protective and possessive ways make her feel like she is a parrot in a cage. When his parrot flies what will he do.He will definietly chase it. You can directly go to summary of the prologues. a/n: It is my first story. Sorry if there are any mistakes and the story is not edited. More description is in 1st chapter.
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