Onyxmuse Critiques!
- Reads 331
- Votes 21
- Parts 3
Ongoing<5 mins
Last published Sat, Nov 24, 2018
Highest Achieved #182 in critique and #118 in review
Just as the title says, I'm here to critique your stories just for the heck of it. If you're interested in an honest opinion, come right in with your defenses at bay for possible crushing (in a nice way mind you!) and see what I have to offer.
All Rights Reserved
#859
critique
Join the largest storytelling communityGet personalized story recommendations, save your favourites to your library, and comment and vote to grow your community.
You may also like
My Brother is my Mate!!
This is NOT a story about incest so please don't get the wrong idea. Disclaimer: I made this book when I was like 12 so just beware lol "Blake how the heck are you my m-mate?" I say with the courage that I have left, which isn't very much. "Kennedy I've waited for this moment since last year." "What do you mean?" I ask while looking down at the floor avoiding his eyes. "I mean that I have known that you were my mate since I shifted but I didn't tell you, and now you finally know", he states as he comes closer and closer until we are so close I can feel his breathe on my cheek. "U-um Blake what are you doing?", I say as he looks at my lips and I gaze at his blue-green eyes. "Something I have waited way too long to do", He says as his lips come crashing onto mine. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Kennedy is a 16 year old girl. Her birthday is in 2 weeks and it will be her turn to find her mate. Also she will finally shift into her wolf. But on her birthday she will find something out that will change her life completely, not only will she find her mate but she will find something about her that will change her future..... Read to find out :) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Book Cover made by @Weirdness_Rules Highest Rank: #17 in WerewolfComplete
A Girl in a Forgetful World
This is a collection of all the poetry I have written. Some sadness, some happiness, and a concotion of both. Poetry is my way to vent and let my emotions flow freely. Thanks for checking it out, and I really hope you enjoy what you find! And please -- Feel free to comment any suggestions to my writing! I'm in love with getting criticism (no, I'm not even freaking kidding. I know it sounds weird, but I really am!) I am eager to learn to be a better writer and grow surrounded by those suggestions and wonderful, amazing, awesome readers I have! Thank you guys again so much! It means the world to me! #68- hard (4/6/19) 1K Reads! (10/19/19)Complete
The Beta's Unwanted Mate | ✔️ Complete
#1 werewolf #1 teenfiction "That night meant nothing to me Olivia." "You were just like another girl to me." He smirked, "and you KNOW how I do girls. I lure them," he took a crumpled paper in his hands and softly straightened it, "I fuck them. HARD." He tore the paper off in pieces, "and then, I throw them out of my life," he concluded, crushing the paper into a ball and throwing it with a perfect shot in the bin. I looked up at him in shock, anger and heartbreak. "You actually thought I got jealous!" He scoffed. Out of nowhere he threw me against the wall and I gasped as his arm pressed by my sides and he trapped me. "ALSO, DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME YOUR MATE AGAIN!" he growled, I breathed heavily as fear started crawling in. Tears flowed down my face. I struggled to breathe. "I NEVER wanted a mate. Especially not like you." He gave me a glare as if the mere sight of me disgusted him. "Who would want a mate like you anyways, huh? You're ugly, nerdy, clingy, way-too-innocent and being with you will DESTROY my social reputation." Listening to those words shattered my Wolf and she howled in pain. I gasped, trying to get some air but he pressed me against the wall harder. "Look at you," he chuckled, "So pathetic. You're not even able to defend yourself. Moon goddess made a mistake mating you with me. I will correct it ." "I won't reject you," he said, "oh no no. Rejection is easy. I will TORTURE you. I will sleep with other girls, I will flirt with them in front of your eyes and I will watch you and your wolf die everyday. I will break you to the limit where you won't ever be able to come back. And then, I will leave you to rot." "One last thing. Don't you DARE tell anyone that we are mates. Are we clear?" I nodded frantically, my heart clenching till where it was unbearable. He let out a dark chuckle and released me,"Good girl." I collapsed on the floor and almost passed out from the lack of air in my lungs. He just walked away & left me there to rot.Complete
Ari's Reverse Harlem
*Hey guys this is my first time writing. All critiques are welcome! Please comment any suggestions so I can get better! Thanks for reading.* Ari has grown up sheltered. She didn't know that outside her pack there's unrest across America. Vampires are addicted to wolf's blood, Mages are addicted to power and Rogues are addicted to blood lust. Ari has a strong wolf, one that comes early. To everyone's surprise, she's a golden wolf. A golden wolf hasn't been seen in centuries. She's blessed with lunar magic, she can manipulate earth, water and gravity. Now everyone is expecting her to save the werewolf/lycan world. Once discovered, her and her pack realizes she's no longer safe. She is now a prize who many will kill over to have by their side or just kill to get out of their way. Follow Ari through her journey to discover and learn her new powers along with the men that will give their lives to make sure she's safe. *Medium burn *Sexual Content *Adult Language *ViolenceComplete
Restoration
This is my first book I've ever written, so I would love feedback! Feel free to message me anytime! Please vote and comment!Complete
The Diary of Me
I have marked this story as "completed" but I don't know if it will ever actual be complete. This is my journal, my secrets, my thoughts. This is The Diary of Me.Complete
Crushed Underneath the Surface
For years, I've been writing in silence, creating worlds, characters, and stories that lived only in the margins of my notebooks and tucked-away folders on my computer. Writing has always been my escape, something I've done for myself-a way to step out of reality for a moment and breathe through the lives of the people I've imagined. I've written and rewritten countless stories, always hesitant to share them, never quite confident enough to let anyone else peek into the depths of my mind. It's always felt like just a hobby, something personal, something safe. But deep down, I've carried a quiet dream of becoming a writer, even though it felt a little foolish to hope for something so big. Now, after pouring myself into this story for what feels like a lifetime, I've finally done it-I've uploaded all my chapters to Wattpad, sharing this piece of me with the world. I know I still have so much to learn, and I'm always striving to get better, but I would truly appreciate any feedback-good, constructive criticism that can help me grow. This is just the beginning, but it feels like a huge step forward. Thank you for taking a chance on this book. Whatever brought you here, whether it was curiosity, a recommendation, or just a moment of wandering, I am truly grateful.Complete
Alpha Jordan
He caressed my soft cheek with his rough hands yet so gentle whenever they touch me"Jade,my love don't leave me come back with me" He is so vulnerable. I have never seen him like this. His eyes show lot of emotions , in which love is the most "No Jordan! I don't want to live in a cage! I don't want to be with you",with that said I ran away. "Jade please come back,come back to me love,please" . Jade is human. Jordan is a werewolf. They are mates. But Jade is forced to be with him. His protective and possessive ways make her feel like she is a parrot in a cage. When his parrot flies what will he do.He will definietly chase it. You can directly go to summary of the prologues. a/n: It is my first story. Sorry if there are any mistakes and the story is not edited. More description is in 1st chapter.Complete
This is NOT a story about incest so please don't get the wrong idea. Disclaimer: I made this book when I was like 12 so just beware lol "Blake how the heck are you my m-mate?" I say with the courage that I have left, which isn't very much. "Kennedy I've waited for this moment since last year." "What do you mean?" I ask while looking down at the floor avoiding his eyes. "I mean that I have known that you were my mate since I shifted but I didn't tell you, and now you finally know", he states as he comes closer and closer until we are so close I can feel his breathe on my cheek. "U-um Blake what are you doing?", I say as he looks at my lips and I gaze at his blue-green eyes. "Something I have waited way too long to do", He says as his lips come crashing onto mine. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Kennedy is a 16 year old girl. Her birthday is in 2 weeks and it will be her turn to find her mate. Also she will finally shift into her wolf. But on her birthday she will find something out that will change her life completely, not only will she find her mate but she will find something about her that will change her future..... Read to find out :) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Book Cover made by @Weirdness_Rules Highest Rank: #17 in Werewolf
More detailsContent Guidelines