Absurder Than Murder - jakebonajem - Wattpad

Absurder Than Murder

Reads 261
Votes 18
Parts 15
Time 2h 25m

Reads 261
Votes 18
Parts 15
Time 2h 25m

absurd absurdism autobiography comedy darkhumor fantasy fantasyhumor humor jakebonajem magic magicalrealism nonsense roadtrip satire shitpost

An epic road trip featuring such things as: murder, complex solutions to simple problems (ie: murder), committing crimes (including, but not limited to: murder), team building activities (murder), a thirty litre bottle of soda, and several epic fights for justice (resulting in murder).

In this adventure I am joined by a retired detective obsessed with beavers, a mechanic with significant insight into the supernatural, a young gamer with paralysed hands, and my wife.All Rights Reserved

absurd absurdism autobiography comedy darkhumor fantasy fantasyhumor humor jakebonajem magic magicalrealism nonsense roadtrip satire shitpost

Table of contents

15 parts

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The Mind-Warper Special by Corey_Mariani

Side effects of a supernatural parasite may include the following: dry mouth, fatigue, auditory hallucinations, and the awakening of dormant magical powers likely to attract negative attention from the local secret society. Charlie Allison is a positive guy-and ambitious. At just twenty-two, he owns his own tour-guide business and his own bus, which he's exceedingly proud of. He spends his workdays driving tourists around the Pacific Northwest, catering, as of late, to a growing customer base: people with an uncanny interest in an old regional flood. Though Charlie doesn't understand it, he also doesn't like to look gift horses in the mouth . . . . That is until one of them forces him to eat a cheese danish at gunpoint, and he wakes up a day later in a hotel room with a mysterious, crying woman. When they try to go their separate ways, they both experience excruciating pain, which means, according to the strange woman, that they are "bonded" by magic. To break the bond, they must work together to find the antidote. But in their search, they soon discover that the havoc unleashed on their lives by their new condition is nothing compared to what the kidnappers have planned next.

The Bureau of Unresolved Mysteries by reticencex

The Bureau of Unresolved Mysteries: A Tale of Cosmic Curiosities and Missing Socks In the quaintly absurd town of Serendipity Springs, where reality seems to have taken a sabbatical, Zaphod Noodle is on a quest of cosmic proportions-his socks have vanished. Yes, you read that right: his socks. Not just any socks, but the very ones that have kept his feet warm and his existential dread at bay. Desperate, Zaphod turns to the Bureau of Unresolved Mysteries, a place that promises to unravel the unfathomable, though it often results in more bafflement than resolution.

heart over brain by xFaerah

Hannah meets Max - who broke out of prison. Despite her head telling her he is dangerous, she can't help being attracted to him. - - - ♡ - - - A regular Friday night turns out anything but for Hannah when Max breaks out of prison and she gets caught up in his escape. Against all logic, she is attracted to him, and he doesn't seem to dislike her either. But Hannah soon discovers he isn't a gentle man and about nothing he tells her is true. When confronted with the harsh reality - and the police - what will Hannah do? - - - ♡ - - - Note: This story is meant to be a bit funny. Don't take it too serious ;) - - - ♡ - - - Also, "heart over brain" and not "Heart over Brain" because brain knows titles should have capital letters, but heart doesn't care. - - - ♡ - - - ONC23 #51

The Absurdity of Escapism: Navigating the Mundane by Universalis_Unbound

In a world that feels more like a suffocating prison than a place of opportunity, an escapist seeks refuge in the pages of her beloved books, crafting vibrant fantasies to drown out the monotony of life. But when she's thrust into an unexpected series of encounters with a firefighter and a bully, her perfectly curated escape begins to unravel. As these three unlikely companions navigate their darkly humorous and absurd misadventures, the escapist must confront the chaos around her and discover whether her imagined realities can coexist with the hilarity and horror of the real world. With wit as sharp as a blade and a penchant for sarcasm, she challenges the notion of what it means to truly escape-and whether sometimes, the only way out is to face what lies within.

The Styles Effect [COMPLETE] by Chingyonce

I escaped my reality by reading fanfictions. They escaped their fanfictions to become my reality.

The Vertigo Project (CRINGE-FEST 2K15) by thisisbalogna

for gods sake why am i keeping this

The Vøid in Yøur Eyes by 12_Pillz

"Why are you writing this shit?! You should be out there ending humanity right now!"

The Adventures Of An Aromantic Asshole (In A Shockingly Cliché World) by Quack_Theory

Okay. So, let's all just agree that some stories can be pretty cliché, right. I mean - do you wanna tell me you never been reading a story and thought "yo, what the hell, that makes no sense, people don't act like that in real life, what's up with the cliché thing, damn."? Yeah, it's that feeling we're going against here. So this THING, whatever it is, will feature all your good ol' clichés, but from an aromantics point of view. Or just call it a parody or something, I dunno. You do you. Nice talking to ya. Same time next week?

Utopian Society by HeartlessStarGazer

Get a picture of a true, perfect society, the real Utopia, where everything is the way society should actually be. In the story, you will learn how to act properly in this modern society, what the base values are and how to follow them.

The 28th Stop [ Yandere x Reader ] by cookie_waffle

Desperate to help your kind yet bankrupt brother, you accepted an assignment many said were a one-way trip to death. Your job is to investigate this mysterious area and publish an article detailing your experiences. Simple, right? With citizens that are murderously adamant about containing the town's secrets, and an enigmatic boy on your trail, perhaps there's more to 'The 28th Stop' than what meets the eye. At least, to the eyes of outsiders.

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Slide 1 of 10

The Mind-Warper Special cover

The Bureau of Unresolved Mysteries cover

heart over brain cover

The Absurdity of Escapism: Navigating the Mundane cover

The Styles Effect [COMPLETE] cover

The Vertigo Project (CRINGE-FEST 2K15) cover

The Vøid in Yøur Eyes cover

The Adventures Of An Aromantic Asshole (In A Shockingly Cliché World) cover

Utopian Society cover

The 28th Stop [ Yandere x Reader ] cover

The Mind-Warper Special

Side effects of a supernatural parasite may include the following: dry mouth, fatigue, auditory hallucinations, and the awakening of dormant magical powers likely to attract negative attention from the local secret society. Charlie Allison is a positive guy-and ambitious. At just twenty-two, he owns his own tour-guide business and his own bus, which he's exceedingly proud of. He spends his workdays driving tourists around the Pacific Northwest, catering, as of late, to a growing customer base: people with an uncanny interest in an old regional flood. Though Charlie doesn't understand it, he also doesn't like to look gift horses in the mouth . . . . That is until one of them forces him to eat a cheese danish at gunpoint, and he wakes up a day later in a hotel room with a mysterious, crying woman. When they try to go their separate ways, they both experience excruciating pain, which means, according to the strange woman, that they are "bonded" by magic. To break the bond, they must work together to find the antidote. But in their search, they soon discover that the havoc unleashed on their lives by their new condition is nothing compared to what the kidnappers have planned next.