His Darkened World (Previously called 'The Darkness')

'The cataclysm was without warning, only a young man with an ancient heritage was aware; the human race must adapt to survive.'

I would like some feedback on a revised first page of a story I attempted to write 8 years ago. I was 16 when I first wrote it. I am now nearly 25.

It's clear to me, that, back then, I did not have a very good grasp of creative writing, and I'm not entirely sure It's any better today. But I am hoping that those 8 extra years of reading story, after story has given some subconscious experience.

Please read the first few paragraphs of the first draft then my revised first page.