I missed max.
Those were the only thoughts in my head these days, I couldn't concentrate on anything properly without it linking it back to him. The lyrics I wrote, or the hurt I felt to whenever I looked back to my old book to where I still kept my songs from back when I was in Escape The Fate.
Though it'd never be the same anymore, they've all moved on with their lives, though as much as I try to move on, I can't help but think about the reasons to why I hated them so much.
I never realised that as I was ruining my life I was affecting theirs, the band was tearing apart, they couldn't handle my alcoholic self, my drug addiction, I guess they had no choice but to kick me out anyway, if I was any of them I might have done the same.
But why am I regretting this so much? I have Ryan, Jacky, our new guitarist Ronnie Ficarro.., Derek...Hell I have Falling In Reverse, a more successful band than Escape The Fate were. We have more fans, our gigs are hella crazy, if not, awesome as fuck.
I am Ronnie Radke. No longer drug addict, a now sober man who has learnt to stand back up on his own two feet, working hard to re-fullfil my dream that I had another chance at doing.
Prison did good for me, it actually changed me, I learned to realise my mistakes. Not give up, I spent good time in Prison, unlike some people who would mope around I actually did something for myself. Every night I would think about the crimes I'd committed, the guilt took over, so I took that guilt to a pen and paper, drumming out the beats of songs on the tables, scribbling away sheets of music.
Prisoners would ask me to sign autographs for their daughters who were huge crazed fans for their idol.
Heck, I wasn't an Idol, I was a wreck. I was a huge wreck, don't follow in my footsteps with the drug abuse and alcohol. The Ronnie from ETF.
Follow in the footsteps of Ronnie Radke from Falling In Reverse.
Because that is who I am now. That is who I shall continue as to live on.
My mom died in a car crash a couple weeks ago, i never new who my father was until her will was read. Max Green is like my brother, but will one little thing change my life?