The Book Of Funny-COMPLETE
- OKUNANLAR 362
- Oylar 14
- Bölümler 10
Funny things I've read or seen or been through and laughed about. Also I made some of these things up.... Hope you laugh too!!! :)
Ex...
When a pregnancy test confirms your worst fears...... You're just fat
Hey there, Friday
welcome back you sexy bi*ch we've been looking for you since Monday.
The reason I swear so much is because Fu*k you
Kamu Malı
#569
selfexpression
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Ayrıca sevebilecekleriniz
Book 1✔️ Sugar Baby
Highest Ranking #1 adultthemes (01/05/19) #1 eroticromance (24/10/2019) #1 adultromance (26/06/2019) #1 sugardaddy (05/08/2019) #1 couple (16/08/2019) #1 mature (16/10/2019) #2 romance (2/11/2019) #2 ceo (23/03/2020) "You need to shut up baby. Let me take care of your needs. Can you do that for me?" He unzipped my dress, as it falls freely down to the floor. ***** Lori was a socialite, she lived a life of luxury until her parents got a divorce and she was forced to live on her own. She struggled with financing her education and trying hard to maintain her high standard of living. She finally gave up when her best friends treated her like she has the plague and cut her off, then her boyfriend was forced to end things with her when his parents didn't want him to be associated with Lori because of her family's scandal. And that's when she decided to take the offer to be a sugar baby, thinking she'll treat it as a summer job and end it as soon as she's back on her feet again. ********** James never needed a girlfriend. He's a workaholic. He likes the arrangement of a sugar baby where he can pay a sum of money for a companion of a young attractive woman. His friend suggested the idea. With the last sugar baby being too attached to him. It's time for him to find another one. A less demanding one. His eyes locked into the beautiful fragile young woman with an attitude to match. Her fiery yet nervous attitude was refreshing for him, and he wanted her for himself. Will he get what he paid for? Will she get back on her feet? ********** Completed: May 2019 *Warning! R-Rated for 18+ due to strong, explicit language and sexual content*.Tamamlanmış Hikaye
Killer Kandy
I'm not a doctor, and you're not my patient. Eat these words at your own risk. *** Some dark themes and terrible humor may be included... viewer discretion advised *awkwardly shrugs*Tamamlanmış Hikaye
Behind You✔️
{Book One: Abdallah series} "I'm sorry jawad" I stammered feeling his warm breath fanning my face, and his dark eyes boring into mine, with hate evident on his face. He pinned me against the wall once again, looking straight into my eyes. A warm tears made it way down my chin, which I had no strength in stopping them. "It's too late to say sorry my dearest wife" he whispered holding me roughly by the waist. At that moment I know I'm in deep trouble. _____ He is selfish and only think about himself. He doesn't care if it'll trouble the people around him. Jawad return from his journey when he gets the news of him getting married or he loses his position of being the heir to his father's company. Farah a beautiful and kindhearted woman, with a nice and loving family. When a marriage proposal came for her, she knew her life is about to change. As she has no opposition about marriage, she agrees to marry the man her parents choose for her. Two opposite are tied in an arranged marriage. Will they keep their differences aside? And make their marriage work? Follow the story of Farah & Jawad Started: 27th October 2018 Completed: 1st January 2020 ©2019 [[word count: 40,000 - 50,000 words]] #7 in marriage 11/10/2020 #1 in wattpadromance 25/09/2020 #7 in spiritual 16/07/2020 #9 in Billionaire on 15/02/2020 #126 in Romance on 19/01/2020 #1 in Islam 28/12/2019 #2 in muslimstory 29/12/2019Tamamlanmış Hikaye
LAUGH FUCKING ASS OUT
* MATURE CONTENT WARNING* If your already reading this then your in the right place. Now stop wasting your time here and start reading for a fun ride of laughs! Coughs! & hiccups!Tamamlanmış Hikaye!["My Little Monster~"|| Selever X Reader [DISCONTINUED]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/268673945-256-k202187.jpg)
"My Little Monster~"|| Selever X Reader [DISCONTINUED]
Hello! This is my first book so there will probably be some Errors but i'll try my best to fix it. Also English is not my native language so pardon my bad grammar😅😅😅 . Anyway here are some keywords: (Y/N) = Your Name (L/N) = Last Name (H/C) = Hair Colour (H/L) = Hair Length (F/C) = Favourite Colour (S/F/C) = Second Favourite Colour (F/F) = Favorite Food (F/D) = Favourite Drink (F/S) =Favourite Sweet (B/N) = Brother's Name (M/N) = Mother's Name (F/N) = Father's Name __________________________________________________________________________________ You're on college btw and (Y/N) is female. here's a peek at my book. _________________________________________It was a sunday morning and you were making lunch for you and you're roommates. Suddenly you got a call from the headmaster saying that you and your roommates would be having a new roommate and that they would be arriving after lunch. ~Time Skip~ You were playing video games on the couch when you heard a knock on the door. You were confused on why there were knocking on the door because it was Sunday and most of the students were out doing god knows what. Then you suddenly remembered that the headmaster told you that you were having a new roommate today. You opened the door and you see a cute half human half demon boy. "Oh! You must be our new roommate. Nice to meet you, My name's (Y/N) (L/N)." You introduced yourself. "Sup cutie. The names Selever nice to meet you." ............... That's all folks! If you want more of this story, I suggest you read this book. Edit: Just a fair warning. Some chapters may have been jumbled Because of an error so please check the chapters before you read them please.Tamamlanmış Hikaye
Quotes/Rants/Confessions
I like to rant, I'm good at it or so I've been told. If you also like to rant come join me I love to rant with people! Also confession of mine, because these are things I'd never tell people. If you'd like to have one of your confessions shared here let me know they will be posted anonymously. *~* I can't afford a therapist so this is my therapy, join me! -Twerkoff![Assigned Bride [Unrequited Love]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/161122616-256-k375274.jpg)
Assigned Bride [Unrequited Love]
When you're forced to do something and aftermath it will only break you apart. Where you're helpless. Suffocated in the endless Maize of pain. And the only source of light is to risk everything that you have been shielding so far. Your already broken heart. ........................ He slammed the door hard making me flinch. With powerful decisive steps, he came towards me cowering me in between his desk and his heat radiating body. Intimidating me more than before. "Step back" I meeked out. Only resulting as his eyes darkened more and he stepped closer that I could feel every inch of his body on me, His thigh, waist, muscles, abs. My face heated at the feeling of his body against mine. I'm getting horny while he is angry. He leaned over me not leaving any space possible, my heart started to beat in an unknown rhythm. Both his hands, caging my body. "I dare you, my little kitty," his lips brushing against my earlobe; causing my whole body to shiver, reacting in an unknown way I have ever felt before. "If you think that disobeying me will be merciful, then you have got a hell lot of coming your way." I gasped as I felt his large hand squishing my ass hard. Making my blood flow south. ......................... Katherine Simon's has been the perfect secretary of Francesca Romano Ricca the most desired bachelor, a fucking dominant, elegant, heartbreaker, clean, intimidating, hot, damage for 4 years. Never complained, or fuss about his any ridiculous Order but he crossed that Threshold when he blackmailed her to be "His" or she, could lose the job she has been dead loyal to. Both with their weaknesses. Will they understand each other Or Will they try to destroy what is left in them. What will she do in this crisis of life, accept it or risk all the feelings she has been suppressed for so long. Will this new relation of there's will be the same as before or will it change something in between them. ___ Hello guys, This is my first novel.
My Babies Mystery Daddy. (Completed March 2021)
(Mature content) (Highest ranks listed) (Editing slowly) A simple last night out with my girls before I move to America. Drinks are flowing, hips moving & laughing like we have no worries in the world, & an encounter with a drop dead gorgeous man, whos eyes could see my soul like we belonged & his hands ohh 🤪 but I left before he woke mortified. I never had a one night stand. Only problem now is I left with something belonging to him. So here I am 4 years later and my boss is retiring. Who's my new boss you ask. Well you guessed it & Does he remember me? I hope not as theirs more than my feelings at stake now. *********************************** Eoin Ryder now 29 year old badboy billionaire. Eoin cant get a girl named Saoirse (sheer-sha) out of his head for years. That one incredible night has had him searching for that connection again. He dates but nothing to serious as he compares them to her beauty. Is there such thing as love at first sight. Will he find her again. If so what will he do. What will she do. Though he is in for a shock. Laughter, tears, anger, sex & possible loss. This book has it all. Hey everyone 😁 this is my 1st ever book/story to write & writing it from my phone. If its boring or silly I do apologise. Im writing chapters as I go so please be kind and i would love feedback and ideas for this story. I Started it 20-dec-2020. I thought id give it ago & to have a new focus point to steadying out my anxiety. Never done anything like this before. feel free to point out mistakes nicely im trying to edit quickly. Also the pregnancies are sort of based on my experiences. Also copywrited. Mature content will be present so please dont read if this will offend you or under age. Hightest rank 1st #daddy (sept) 1st #Irish (may 21) 1st #over18s (may-now) 2nd #single (feb23) 2nd #2021 (may 2021) 2nd #accidental (may 2021) 3rd #soul (may 2021) 4th #lover (june 2021) 6th #sexual (june 2021) 10th #love (may 2021) 11th #growth (june 2021)Tamamlanmış Hikaye
Le Gasp The Club
If you say le gasp you are welcome here. You will not be criticized or punished for your choice of language here. Le gasp is accepted among us members of society. If you say Le gasp as well, I welcome you with open arms to join us. You are home now my children. Let us embrace. {Basically me venting bout life and my chisme} (This is really for fun, if you want to have some too then please join the family!) [slow, unsteady updates] #9: random thoughts #38: tagging #34: community #2: legaspTamamlanmış Hikaye
INSATIABLE
He brought his hands up and tucked my hair behind my ear. coming closer to my ear "Do i arouse you?" he whispered, making my knees weak "I can feel the heat radiating off you and i know you are soaking wet already" What the hell? Pushing him off me i straightened up and glared at him "You are now my boss starting tomorrow and i dont think it is appropriate to use comments like that with an employee." He suddenly jammed on the elevator emergency button, causing the elevator to stop. "Really? That would make this more exciting and easier. "I am attracted to you, you are attracted to me. Lets fuck and be fine" I stared at him wide eyed Has this man gone mad? I admit that he is hot and affects me a little but that doesn't mean i want to jump into bed with him, he is my boss for crying out loud and i really need this job" He was now standing in front of me with his face close to mine staring at my lips. I want to kiss you" He whispered making me feel chills all over my body. ***************************************************** Blake Greyson wasn't born with a silver spoon but he worked all his life to get to the top. Too as one of the eligible billionaires in Florida with his beautiful girlfriend Anna by his side every step away. Mellisa Wakefield is a young woman in her early twenties who is yet to get her life together. She fails miserably in whatever she does and her sister never misses the opportunity to remind her of how much of a loser she was until she got a job at Greyson's enterprise. Two different people tangled into a life of love, sex and betrayal.Tamamlanmış Hikaye
Highest Ranking #1 adultthemes (01/05/19) #1 eroticromance (24/10/2019) #1 adultromance (26/06/2019) #1 sugardaddy (05/08/2019) #1 couple (16/08/2019) #1 mature (16/10/2019) #2 romance (2/11/2019) #2 ceo (23/03/2020) "You need to shut up baby. Let me take care of your needs. Can you do that for me?" He unzipped my dress, as it falls freely down to the floor. ***** Lori was a socialite, she lived a life of luxury until her parents got a divorce and she was forced to live on her own. She struggled with financing her education and trying hard to maintain her high standard of living. She finally gave up when her best friends treated her like she has the plague and cut her off, then her boyfriend was forced to end things with her when his parents didn't want him to be associated with Lori because of her family's scandal. And that's when she decided to take the offer to be a sugar baby, thinking she'll treat it as a summer job and end it as soon as she's back on her feet again. ********** James never needed a girlfriend. He's a workaholic. He likes the arrangement of a sugar baby where he can pay a sum of money for a companion of a young attractive woman. His friend suggested the idea. With the last sugar baby being too attached to him. It's time for him to find another one. A less demanding one. His eyes locked into the beautiful fragile young woman with an attitude to match. Her fiery yet nervous attitude was refreshing for him, and he wanted her for himself. Will he get what he paid for? Will she get back on her feet? ********** Completed: May 2019 *Warning! R-Rated for 18+ due to strong, explicit language and sexual content*.
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