LEMNISCATE

LEMNISCATE

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lem•nis•cate /lɛmˈnɪskət/ noun infinity symbol ------------ Han had always been an unusual boy, more introverted than the very definition. During elementary school, he never played with anyone during recess or sat very close to anyone at lunch. 'He's a freak,' They would whisper, glancing at him as though he would not be able to notice. He noticed far more than they realized. 'I mean, he's gotta be! Why else would anyone be so alone all the time? Weirdo.' He never thought anything of it, school was merely a seven hours of the twenty-four, leaving eighteen more for him to share with his sister. Although she was four years older than him, they were incredibly close. They'd always been much closer than Han could ever describe. And he's not quite sure when it started. Perhaps from the very moment he had been born, a tiny, pale baby, being cradled in her thin arms. Or, what was more ideal, perhaps it had started when he was four years old. The memory is stamped on his brain, the ink of it never fading, of him being four years old, and Jia being eight, her nimble fingers laying on top of his stubby ones. Or, when he was ten. These little lessons from his sister, the best music instructor he could ask or wish for, were enough. Enough to allow him not to be bothered as he shifted into middle school, and hormonal teenagers became more aggressive than the harmless whispers. Enough to allow him to make it to high school, where people grew even worser. But then, his world came crashing down, she came crashing down. And was gone. She'd told him to find someone to talk to, to make him happy. That was when he found Paras, a person that sparked his timid curiosity. And along with him, someone who lurked in his mind forever after the first glance... Alicia Vargas. There was something about her. Something that clicked in his mind and stuck there, like the symbol on his wrist. A lemniscate.
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I know we weren't meant to be together. It was one forbidden seductive kiss. But my attraction to him was something I couldn't help. I know it's wrong to fall for your stepbrother but I couldn't help but want him the second I saw him. I know what your all thinking...when my stepbrother moved in. I didn't expect it to ever happen. He was just a crush. But I knew I wanted him. He drove me insane. Drove me wild. Crazy. Everything about him made me want him all the time. I know my father wouldn't approve of it. But I needed him and he was intoxicating. Everything about him. I just wanted to be his best. Nothing but the best he's ever had. I knew it wouldn't be okay to have an obsession with your stepbrother. But I couldn't help it. I needed him. I was in shock that I was obsessed with this guy that I didn't think I would ever have feelings for. But I didn't care. I guess you can say I always know what I want and when I want. I guess sleeping with your stepbrother is wrong. But I didn't care. Even when people got between us.... even when we kept our relationship a secret. No matter what happened or what we said or did. But there were problems with me being in love with him but also being his stepsister. I was afraid of losing him. We had to keep our attraction hidden to one another a secret so our parents wouldn't find out or it would leave us forbidden to be together. But I didn't want him to be with anyone but me. I wanted him to myself. I wanted to be his because no matter what we were meant to be. The universe brought us together for a reason. But sometimes you can't help who you fall in love with. Because the heart wants what it wants. Not you wanting the heart. But I only belonged to him and no one else. You know why? Because for sure he was MINE.

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