Who Are You Now?
  • Reads 3,801
  • Votes 101
  • Parts 12
  • Time 3h 34m
  • Reads 3,801
  • Votes 101
  • Parts 12
  • Time 3h 34m
Ongoing, First published Jul 22, 2012
Amanda used to be a fun-loving, popular cheerleader. One day, she met a guy. Not just any guy, the guy she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. He wasn't easy to get, and she ended up changing her whole life just to be with him. Drugs, alcohol, and love ruled her life. That was... until a few tragic accidents ripped her life apart. Amanda lost all four of her friends in a few weeks, and her alcoholic mother didn't know what to do, so Amanda was sent to live with her dad and little sister, Alexa, after three years of little to no contact with them. To top it off, her dad is ashamed of Amanda and Alexa holds a grudge for living with their mother instead of her.

Amanda knows the best thing to do is to just try to get through her second try at senior year as an invisible girl. She doesn't want to hurt anyone else, and she doesn't want to be hurt. But how will that be possible when she bumps into her old flame, her first flame? And what about her mysterious, flirty neighbor? Amanda wants to keep her distance, but her want for human contact and acceptance outweighs anything else in her mind. She strives to be the same girl she was three years ago, but with everything that had happened to her is it possible?

Join Amanda on her journey as she tries to find out who she is.

"Don’t, don’t, don’t wake me up, ‘cause I hate who I am today. So come on, come on and just take, take, take what you want. Isn't that what we’re living for? We’re always wanting more. You've made me hate my own reflection, question every choice I make. So I could try to be perfect, I won't try to be fake. So forgive me ‘cause I really couldn't care less that this world has changed me" -Sleeping With Sirens
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Before I knew it my shirt was torn away from my torso and tossed on the floor, Charlie's doing the same. Our kiss intensified and I felt him groan against my lips. I swear to god, this boy is making out with me like his life depends on it! And that's when reality punched me in the gut... the words 'this boy' kept running through my head over and over again until it got through the thick fog of vodlka and whatever else was in those stupid drinks. I, Ace Loughty, was kissing a guy. A fucking guy. A fucking straight guy named Charlie Simmons who of course had to be one of the most popular dickheads in Meadow Ridge High. I am so unbelievably fucked. ----- 17 year old Ace Loughty was never one longing to be in the spotlight. In fact, he craved the exact opposite: being left alone. When Ace was 13, the tragic death of his younger sister Eleanor caused him to rapidly gain popularity and pitiful looks. He hated the attention. All of a sudden everyone wanted to be friends with the dead girls brother, they'd promise Ace he would never be alone that they would always be there for him, which he of course knew was untrue, they're all just hungry for attention. Sometime later the school moved onto other drama and gossip, things started to die down and people finally left Ace alone. He moved on with his life, convincing himself he was over Eleanor's death and as quick as the whole thing started, he returned to being lonely, weird, quiet nobody Ace. Just how he liked it. That is until 4 years later when he found himself sprawled out on a bed. With Charlie Simmons hovering over him. Charlie Simmons who was kissing Ace like he would die if he ever dared to stop. Which was all too true. Without kissing Ace, Charlie was as good as dead. *WARNING*: This story will contain themes of severe depression, suicide, abuse and somewhat graphic depiction of self harm. If any of these things may trigger you please rethink reading this story!! Started: January 21st 2020