blog/public diary
- Reads 482
- Votes 27
- Parts 27
Ongoing9m
Last published Wed, Nov 20, 2019
this is going to be depressing...my life is depressing,my story will be in here as well as mental and physical issues and probably more...you can always text me to vent or if you just want to talk...im always here (there might be happy chapters in here...its a diary ok i might write daily...if i stop writing im dead...or my dad took my phone😂)
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#4
doggo
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Me Working Through It
Just a bunch of poems I write to help get through life. You can see my journey through anxiety, friendships, relationships, sexuality confusion, family nonsense and depression. You might relate. I love comments (including grammar corrections). I do not own the artwork, I give credit to the artist when I can find it. I do own the poems so please give me credit and all that stuff. I do doubt anyone would be using my poetry for anything but anyway. I have a new book titled 'You.' which you'll be able to find in my account. I will only be updating that book from now on instead of this one as this one is completed.Complete
Don't Forget Me In The Morning
When I was little, I was never healthy for a full day. When I would go to school, I would carry around an oxygen tank so that I could breathe properly. There was once where I had come close to death. At that time, my mother and father promised me that they wouldn't ever leave me. That is, until someone came in an murdered them while I was at school. When I was dropped off from the bus stop, I automatically knew something was wrong because my mother would always wait for me. When she wasn't there, I began to get worried. 'Had she forgotten?' Was the first thing I thought as I walked up the stairs and into my house. 'Mama? Papa?' I questioned walking into their room. As I made the first step in, I heard squishing under my feet as if the carpet was wet.Complete
Just Kinda Wanna Die ❤️
Poems. This blew up over the past couple weeks so, thankyou 🥺👉👈❤️ I um, just use Wattpad to vent so I wasn't really expecting this thankyou all for your comments it means a lot to me
Chance On Me (MXMMM)(COMPLETE)
I've had a hard life. Growing up with an abusive dad, struggling with social cues and adapting with life. Mom says this move is needed, that it'll help heal me. But I don't know if I want to be healed. Meeting the Beam brothers has been a lot. A lot of boundaries pushed, a lot of learning. But mom says they'll be good for me. So I'll give them a chance, and see how it helps. Can it be that hard? So what do I do when all three of them take interest in me? And this normal life I thought we were meant to change? Secrets come out, and trust gets broken. How do we come back from this?Complete
You don't know me
⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ Not for the faint of heart, I explore dark parts of my mind and unfurl them for your own enjoyment. All of these stories are true. You don't know me, and you're never going to. This is basically just a shitty diary of my life with very few details as to who I am, Don't want to scare you off. Feel free to read but I don't really care. I'm just a screwed up guy that everyone knows and nobody cares about really. If you can't tell I'll probably swear quite a bit in this so if you don't like that I'm sorry, but this really isn't a good read anyway it's just me complaining about the fact I still exist. Actually no, whilst I did start this to complain about my life, the stories are fluctuating, as I discover I am infact worthy of love, even I don't believe it at all times. I hope you enjoy my rantings. ⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️
Guardian (mxm)
Book 2 in Stray Series. I know I'm not worthy of a second chance. I've taken away so many others' second chances. I took their lives in my hands and each time chose mine over theirs. It didn't matter who they were, if they had family, how old they were. I had a job to do. If I heard even a whisper, it was over. I had to. I didn't want to, but I had to. It didn't even matter in the end. She's gone now. I'm all alone. Somehow, for some reason, a second chance was bestowed on me. But I don't want it. I can't have it. And he knows it too. -This story has depictions of violence, SA, depression, panic attacks, gore. Please read at your own discretion- Highest rankings thanks to all of you wonderful readers! : #16 in "Shifter" #18 in "Loss" #24 in "Werewolf" #26 in "BoyxBoy"Complete
NOW YOU SEE," THE REAL ME" UNDER MAJOR EDITING
NOW YOU SEE "THE REAL ME" #1 IN THE SERIES OF POETRY BOOKS //SAD POETRY EDITION (under major editing) "My heart was taken by you, broken by you, and now it's in pieces because of you" My poems aren't the best. The first few poems may not seem worthy of being read but... later down in the book they get better. To some, my poems are beautiful; to some, my poems are shitty and they are rubbish💀. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!! I can't promise that your time won't be wasted reading this book. I'm not a professional poet so expect the worst. This book isn't for everyone. It's sad, a little motivating and dark. If you aren't into sad poems don't read this book, it isn't for you. This book contains some of my thoughts,mostly about me or the people around me or just society in general. If you are feeling sad or depressed, please seek help. I know how much it hurts but it isn't too late to heal. Cover made on postermywall ♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡.｡♥*♡∞:｡ Rankings: #1 in sad poet out of 23 07/25/2021 #2 in deep thought out of 4. 8 K stories 07/25/2021 #2 in thoughts out of 73. 4 K stories 07/25/2021 #3 in sad poems out of 10.1 K stories 07/25/2021 #3 in thoughts and feelings out of 10.1 K stories 07/25/2021 #6 in poet out of 14.3 K stories 07/25/2021 #40 in deep out of 26.6 K stories 07/25/2021 #48 in depressing out of 18. 3 K stories 07/25/2021Complete
No Love Allowed
"So you're basically saying that I'm not allowed to love?" "No, you are allowed to love, just not him." My father told me. I got up out my seat and started walking to my room; I was getting tired of this. "What's the difference in someone else?" I argued back. Before I could blink, he punched me square in the jaw. I felt the pain first, then the metallic taste of blood. "Don't you ever talk back to me, Charles." And with that, he left the living room, leaving me there to tend to my own injuries. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Charles McGrow is madly in love with the cliché school jock, Derek Matterwood and is forbidden to. His father -unaware of his Charles' attraction to the same gender- is a huge homophobic person and doesn't approve of such behavior , his mother isn't as bad but rocks the same boat. How is Charles going to keep his secret when all of a sudden, Derek appears in almost half of his classes 11th grade year? And on top of that, he can't let his parents know because he knows how religious they are... How is he going to react to Derek's huge secret? ... Let's see the choices he makes...Complete
𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐬 | 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐝
𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞 𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 ♡Complete
Inevitable Destruction
Dazai angst I felt like writing ACTUAL WRITING WILL BE POSTED BY APRIL 30TH !PLEASE MIND THE TW'S THIS IS INCREDIBLY HEAVY! Child endangerment Child abuse Hypothermia Starvation/Descriptions of intense hunger Suicidal thoughts/Ideation Implications of non consensual medical drug usage Self harm Blood Gun/Blades Thoughts/Urges to hurt others (?) Dehumanization Depression Self neglect Suicide/Attempt (VERY descriptive) Panic attack descriptions Slight religious imagery (?) Descriptions of gore/injury Brief mention of torture Law breaking/reckless driving (?) Emotional suppression (?) Drastic mood swings/changes Mentioned character death Playlist on first part and taking suggestionsComplete
Just a bunch of poems I write to help get through life. You can see my journey through anxiety, friendships, relationships, sexuality confusion, family nonsense and depression. You might relate. I love comments (including grammar corrections). I do not own the artwork, I give credit to the artist when I can find it. I do own the poems so please give me credit and all that stuff. I do doubt anyone would be using my poetry for anything but anyway. I have a new book titled 'You.' which you'll be able to find in my account. I will only be updating that book from now on instead of this one as this one is completed.
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