DAISIES

'I wasn't like this. I wasn't always depressed and I for sure wasn't always in this horrible place. I know you are judging me because of what I want to do, but this isn't me. I'm broken, This isn't me.' I looked at her with sad eyes, trying to make her feel some emotion for me, maybe I tried to pity her so that she would leave me alone and let me do whatever I wanted to do. 'This isn't who I used to be. I used to be happy, I used to feel safe, I used to hang around guys. I used to go out with my friends and make great memories. I used to be in love, I used to love him. I used to be with him every day. We both hung out together every day and felt free to do whatever we wanted because we had each other.' I couldn't continue talking because saying the last thing made me tear up
'I understand. But you need to tell me everything, you need to tell me your story'
'I was telling you my story!' I said with complete anger. She never let me finish anything. When I didn't want to share my story, she forced me too, and when I did want to share, she interrupted me every second she could
'You need to relax and start from the beginning. You don't have to cry every time you talk about him.' Like if that was easy, I thought. She didn't know how he was around me and how much we truly loved each other
'You don't know what we went through!! You don't know anything about us!' I started to scream at her, crying, looking at her with anger and hate 'You didn't know him! You can't judge me! Do you know how it feels to lose someone like him? Do you?' I screamed louder than ever asking that question. She just stood there, not afraid at all, looking at me and not making any noise. She continued to listen to me scream at her as I yelled, 'You don't know because if you did, you wouldn't even be here right now.' I was looking directly into her eyes when she shouted
'Put her to sleep.' I looked at her confused because I didn't understand what she meant 'Give her a sedative'
'Wait! no!' I yelled