All I Know Is Silent Pain

All I Know Is Silent Pain

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WpMetadataNoticeLast published Wed, Mar 4, 2015
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How do I live like this? How come it won't stop? Does he know he's killing me? I feel my tears, can he see them? I would scream, but I can't. I would ask for help, but I don't want to. He's the only one I trust. I stay silent for him. He's all that I have. I take the pain because I'm not dead. This is who I am. This is how I live. This is the only thing I have and know. My loud love keeps me alive. My silent cries keep me alive. My silence keeps me alive. It's all that I have to live for. After all, All I Know Is Silent Pain.
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#381
arson
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Why did he kidnap me? This happened 3 months ago. Many times I have tried to escape the clutches of his rough hands. Many times I have cried for help. But I need to get stronger in order to escape from him. Now, three months later, I think about this, but now my feelings are different. I wanted to kill him, to make him suffer the way he made me suffer. "Do it, kill him!" Is what I'm thinking. "Kill him and it will be over. I will be able to escape." The mask that was hiding his identity looks at me as I hold the knife to his throat. The whole time I been wondering why I didn't just slit his throat. He told me to do it, to finish him but I couldn't, I just couldn't. I couldn't hate him for the times he whipped me or raped me. I just couldn't. I looked at him holding the knife to his throat with a shaky hand. No matter how hard I try I can't hate him. No matter how hard I try I can't get the knife to slice Reidson's throat. Dropping the knife on the floor I look at his face. I couldn't see his eyes because of the white mask. Now the same hands that used to be so rough became soft and warm. He still beats and rapes me but I figured out why I didn't hate him for making me suffer like this with these same hands that hurt me so cruelly are now touching my face gently. I held his hand to my chest as I look at his masked face. His hand is stained with blood. My blood. I look at his face, I have fallen into a cruel love.

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