The curse of the sassy boo bi es

Whilst investigating the death of a local cow milker, a goth goth clown called dwight k schrute schrute uncovers a legend about a supernaturally-cursed, sassy boo bi es circulating throughout strip club in my basement. As soon as anyone uses the boo bi es, he or she has exactly 69 days left to live.
The doomed few appear to be ordinary people during day to day life, but when photographed, they look kinda thicc but like still goth. A marked person feels like a thicc pidgeon to touch.
dwight k schrute gets hold of the boo bi es, refusing to believe the superstition. A collage of images flash into his mind: a baggy shrimp balancing on a wet cow milker, an old newspaper headline about a pregnancy accident, a hooded anteater ranting about pp and a drinking well located in a wet place.
When dwight k schrute notices his b oo bi es have pidgeon-like properties, he realises that the curse of the sassy boo bi es is true and calls in his lover, a butter churner called beet justabeet, to help.
beet examines the boo bi es and willingly submits herself to the curse. She finds that the same visions flash before his eyes. She finds the baggy shrimp balancing on a wet cow milker particularly chilling. She joins the queue for a supernatural death.
dwight k schrute and beet pursue a quest to uncover the meaning of the visions, starting with a search for the hooded anteater. Will they be able to stop the curse before their time is up?