Darwinism

Darwinism

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WpMetadataReadComplete Mon, Jun 9, 20147m
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Fanfic
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All is not peaceful amongst our dear, cave-dwelling friends. For one thing, they're so far behind the Universal Revised Schedule for Evolving Life-Forms (URSELF) that they're catching it up in quite the opposite direction. Sooner or later, the Heavenly Editor really, genuinely will have to get round to giving them a good talking to. There are truly no two ways about it. Just let him finish his doughnut, ladies and gentlemen. A working man's last- only- pleasure...
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E28 held the entire world within his orange ethereal glowing hands. To most people, being twenty-four years old for all eternity, sounds like a pretty sweet deal. No elderly body aches, your sex drive remains on 100%, and you'll forever be in the prime of your life. Well, in their quest for scientific breakthroughs, our brilliant, overachieving ancestors unknowingly rewrote the entire genetic playbook for our bloodline-long before I was even conceived. By running experiments on themselves, they inadvertently spliced and hardcoded their DNA with something not even they fully understood. The result? Earl Williams the 28th. Born with a delightful grab bag of 5th-dimensional (5D) abilities, including, but not limited to, immortality. And I know what you're thinking. 'Wow! Immortality? That's incredible!' Well, let's see if you feel the same way after falling in love with your soulmate, watching them grow old and die, while you just keep on, existing. Turns out, eternal youth isn't all it's cracked up to be. In fact, it can be less of a gift, and more of a life sentence. Just after Earl's 400th birthday he discovered his 5th dimensional abilities could take him pretty far; literally. As in intergalactic travel. Over time he met other interdimensional beings. Such as Draco, a powerful 4D being who motioned for the ICU to immediately annihilate all of humanity, in order to give Earth time to rebuild its natural resources. Initially, the Intergalactic Chamber of the Universe granted Draco permission to follow through with his murderous plan. However, Earl stepped in and pleaded for humanity's relocation instead of their annihilation. You see Earl himself was earth born. Only as a teenager, did he discover his 5D abilities. He saw the progress humanity had been making. He knew they had learned from their past environmental failures. In his opinion, the people of Earth didn't have to die. All they needed was a new start on a different planet.

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