Worst Paranormal Romance Ever - lesley0james - Wattpad

Worst Paranormal Romance Ever

Reads 532
Votes 18
Parts 19
Time 4h 2m

Reads 532
Votes 18
Parts 19
Time 4h 2m

faerie fantasy friendship funny paranormalromance parody romance satire stopsummersberry vampire werewolf

Warning: This is a satire. It is not recommended for fans of Twilight and other paranormal romances. The heroine does not immediately fall in love with the gorgeous, mysterious boy who swears they are soulmates who will be together forever because of destiny. Nor does she appreciate the way he lurks outside her bedroom, staring at her, and then almost gets her killed by an evil My Little Pony. She has serious doubts that the fate of his world really does depend on her sacrificing everything she cares for--although she feels bad about all the magical creatures who might die if he is telling the truth. But, most of all, it’s driving her crazy that her three best friends don’t believe her when she tells them she’s being stalked by magical creatures (who are decidedly NOT cute) and that the boy everyone is drooling over isn’t as great as he seems. This heroine will have to take care of herself. With any weapon she can find. Although, so far, all she’s found is an old garbage can lid.All Rights Reserved

faerie fantasy friendship funny paranormalromance parody romance satire stopsummersberry vampire werewolf

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19 parts

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The Adventures Of An Aromantic Asshole (In A Shockingly Cliché World) by Quack_Theory

Okay. So, let's all just agree that some stories can be pretty cliché, right. I mean - do you wanna tell me you never been reading a story and thought "yo, what the hell, that makes no sense, people don't act like that in real life, what's up with the cliché thing, damn."? Yeah, it's that feeling we're going against here. So this THING, whatever it is, will feature all your good ol' clichés, but from an aromantics point of view. Or just call it a parody or something, I dunno. You do you. Nice talking to ya. Same time next week?

Emily and Samuel ✔️ by tonkywinky

"Grandmother, what big ears you have." Chuckling at my own joke, I looked down at the wolf when I felt his tail tapping on my wrist and was met with an amused look instead of the sad one before. Taking a hint when he nudged my thigh with his snout, I guided my hands towards his snout. Placing my hand on his snout as he tilted his head up to sniff my palm, I continued, "grandmother, what big nose you have." Standing up on his four paws again, he positioned himself so that he was sitting on his hind legs with his front paws resting on my shoulders. I couldn't stop the burst of laughter that escaped me when he showed me his sharp, white fangs that gleamed under the moonlight. "But grandmother, what big mouth and teeth you have." - Wherein, teenage werewolf Samuel meets his human mate Emily who lives thousands of miles away from him. Will his wolf be able to handle being apart from his very vulnerable, very human mate? Will her over-imaginative mind be able to stay sane apart from her very attractive, very male other half? Will the duo be able to sustain this long-distance relationship? How long can they keep this charade going before Samuel's wolf falls apart? (i'm still working on up-ing my description game but please don't let it hinder you from checking it out. free cookies inside the book so jump in and join Emily and Samuel along their journey.)

Breaking Walls with the Beta {Book 1} by kaitlynlovesbooks

Luna the rule breaker, but also a girl with many secrets. Follow her life as she has fun, falls in love; while the past tries to haunt her. Oh an one last thing, she a werewolf so everything just got 10 times fucking harder. The book has mild cursing that shouldn't be repeated if under the age of 14. So be warned. "I'll never understand girls." "Try having a mate."

The Billionaire Mafia Boss Alpha Bad Boy and Me by YYeung128

A parody... except it slowly gets less satirical as I get way too attached to the characters and turn the story into a shipping-fest ~~~~ "Why are you doing this?" I whispered. He slammed me against another locker. I could see anger, sadness, envy, happiness and lust in his teal green orbs. "Because you're mine." He smirked, gnashing his teeth against mine. ~~~~ Brynn Winters is a 17 year old good girl. She is sweeter than sugar. She is also sarcastic and quirky and innocent and naive and snarky and is a bookworm and not like other girls. She also has trauma to (barely) compensate for her lack of personality. She believes in love but she has never experienced any, until she met him. Ryder Daniels is a 18 year old bad boy. He is sweeter than sin. He is dark and mysterious and plays football (not shown in book). He smokes and drinks beer. He is a ladies' man and a player. He has walls around his heart and some dark secrets that is definitely not spoiled in the title. He does not believe in love. Brynn and Ryder are opposites. So what happens when they meet? He is not who she thinks he is. Will it end in disaster? Or will it end in love? Will it end in flames? Or will it end in a different kind of flame? As disasters come their way, will they choose love or not love? Will their secrets drive them apart? Or will they trust in each other? Join them on their journey of love. There will be love, annoying sluts, conversations that doesn't pass the Bechdel test, cliche tropes, glaring plot holes, subtly glaring plot holes, socialism, orbs, humor, secondhand embarrassment and the tiniest hints of homoeroticism. ~~~~ Reviews (aka criticisms that I'm too lazy to correct): "From a horribly done parody to horribly done leftist propaganda." "Brynn and Ryder are the most frustrating couple I've ever read." "Where humor" "You can't use parody as an excuse for bad writing, you know."

Hashtag Criminal. (Completed) by Roman_renegade

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DURABLE (completed) by SaugiaNSmiles

"Keith and I watched in awe and joy as the inexplicable happened. Nikki was alive! My mate was back! Then suddenly, those brown eyes I loved so much started morphing. Her right eye lightened and became as golden as mine after I shifted into my wolf. While her left eye deepened and became black before turning blood red like Keith's right before he feeds. It was unfeasible but there she laid a vampire-werewolf hybrid." Nicolette Winspere always felt out of step with the world around her and for good reasons. She is a genetically engineered Vampire-Werewolf hybrid but she has no idea! Created as the ultimate weapon, Nicolette is a timid African American woman caught in the middle of a deadly war between humans and non-humans. The humans want her to destroy their natural enemies the vampires and werewolves; while her creator wants to use her to avenge an over 2 millennia-year old slight. After narrowly escaping the clutches of her "parents", she begins a new life with no intentions of looking back. However, after 5 years of freedom, her hybrid genes start attacking her human ones forcing her to do the one thing she swore never to do...return to where it all began. Upon her arrival home, Nicolette finds herself in a desperate fight to keep her life, her freedom, and her humanity all while dealing with the unexpected re-appearance of an old flame. Truths will come to light, the inexplicable will happen, and monsters will be birthed!

The Eldritch Trials by kullman

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The end of the world by AshleaLawrence

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In a lifetime by alexflor2005

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Slide 1 of 10

The Adventures Of An Aromantic Asshole (In A Shockingly Cliché World) cover

Emily and Samuel ✔️ cover

Breaking Walls with the Beta {Book 1} cover

The Billionaire Mafia Boss Alpha Bad Boy and Me cover

Hashtag Criminal. (Completed) cover

DURABLE (completed) cover

The Eldritch Trials cover

The end of the world cover

Let's Go For A Pint (Vampire/Humor) cover

In a lifetime cover

The Adventures Of An Aromantic Asshole (In A Shockingly Cliché World)

Okay. So, let's all just agree that some stories can be pretty cliché, right. I mean - do you wanna tell me you never been reading a story and thought "yo, what the hell, that makes no sense, people don't act like that in real life, what's up with the cliché thing, damn."? Yeah, it's that feeling we're going against here. So this THING, whatever it is, will feature all your good ol' clichés, but from an aromantics point of view. Or just call it a parody or something, I dunno. You do you. Nice talking to ya. Same time next week?