Worst Paranormal Romance Ever - lesley0james - Wattpad

Worst Paranormal Romance Ever

Reads 533
Votes 18
Parts 19
Time 4h 2m

Reads 533
Votes 18
Parts 19
Time 4h 2m

faerie fantasy friendship funny paranormalromance parody romance satire stopsummersberry vampire werewolf

Warning: This is a satire. It is not recommended for fans of Twilight and other paranormal romances. The heroine does not immediately fall in love with the gorgeous, mysterious boy who swears they are soulmates who will be together forever because of destiny. Nor does she appreciate the way he lurks outside her bedroom, staring at her, and then almost gets her killed by an evil My Little Pony. She has serious doubts that the fate of his world really does depend on her sacrificing everything she cares for--although she feels bad about all the magical creatures who might die if he is telling the truth. But, most of all, it’s driving her crazy that her three best friends don’t believe her when she tells them she’s being stalked by magical creatures (who are decidedly NOT cute) and that the boy everyone is drooling over isn’t as great as he seems. This heroine will have to take care of herself. With any weapon she can find. Although, so far, all she’s found is an old garbage can lid.All Rights Reserved

faerie fantasy friendship funny paranormalromance parody romance satire stopsummersberry vampire werewolf

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19 parts

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The Billionaire Mafia Boss Alpha Bad Boy and Me by YYeung128

A parody... except it slowly gets less satirical as I get way too attached to the characters and turn the story into a shipping-fest ~~~~ "Why are you doing this?" I whispered. He slammed me against another locker. I could see anger, sadness, envy, happiness and lust in his teal green orbs. "Because you're mine." He smirked, gnashing his teeth against mine. ~~~~ Brynn Winters is a 17 year old good girl. She is sweeter than sugar. She is also sarcastic and quirky and innocent and naive and snarky and is a bookworm and not like other girls. She also has trauma to (barely) compensate for her lack of personality. She believes in love but she has never experienced any, until she met him. Ryder Daniels is a 18 year old bad boy. He is sweeter than sin. He is dark and mysterious and plays football (not shown in book). He smokes and drinks beer. He is a ladies' man and a player. He has walls around his heart and some dark secrets that is definitely not spoiled in the title. He does not believe in love. Brynn and Ryder are opposites. So what happens when they meet? He is not who she thinks he is. Will it end in disaster? Or will it end in love? Will it end in flames? Or will it end in a different kind of flame? As disasters come their way, will they choose love or not love? Will their secrets drive them apart? Or will they trust in each other? Join them on their journey of love. There will be love, annoying sluts, conversations that doesn't pass the Bechdel test, cliche tropes, glaring plot holes, subtly glaring plot holes, socialism, orbs, humor, secondhand embarrassment and the tiniest hints of homoeroticism. ~~~~ Reviews (aka criticisms that I'm too lazy to correct): "From a horribly done parody to horribly done leftist propaganda." "Brynn and Ryder are the most frustrating couple I've ever read." "Where humor" "You can't use parody as an excuse for bad writing, you know."

Forrest Green by leewest_1124

HE MADE HER HEART SMILE...AND SHE WAS THE REASON HE DID. After moving to a new town, Wynter Whitman wants to get her senior year of high school done and over with. She doesn't want friends, not after what happened last summer. She's determined to get through this last year without incident. Her plans quickly change when she meets a mysterious green-eyed boy who pops up everywhere, becomes friends with Eryn, a small redhead with a big personality, and her past comes back to haunt her again. Join Wynter as she battles with her heart and her head over what she feels is right and what she knows is wrong, all the while trying to keep her sanity intact. **This is a WEREWOLF story, but I tried to not make it super generic, I tried to stay away from that.**

Let's Go For A Pint (Vampire/Humor) by Queen_Raiden

Wattys 2017 winner in The Originals category!!!! This is NOT a romance between the main character and some hunky guy. These are the adventures of vampire Lena as she lives her life from day to day alongside her human flatmate Carmen. Together they encounter human rights activists (not what you think), overly attached exes, vampire geeks, quarrelsome shapeshifters, some really chill people, and a boy band. Let's Go For A Pint is a satire/genre parody revolving around tropes associated with vampire fiction (mostly tv and film portrayals but written works may be alluded) Season 1 is up. While marked as complete, expect ongoing editing and bonus content to appear. Cover made in Canva

Alpha Klayton | ✔️ by sunxmoon__

"You were made for me. And I, for you." His breath is right beside my ear and I tightly shut my eyes closed. He leans down closer. "I was made to love you. To fuck you," My breath catches at the last part. I'm suddenly thinking naughty things and I can't help it. I'm imagining him taking me in his office. On this desk. Feeling what his tongue would taste like. He pulls back lightly and deeply inhales. If possible, his eyes darken even more. They're almost as dark as the night. "I know you want me too, Adira." ****************************************************** Strong. Intimidating. Cunning. Resilient. All characteristics that he embodies. Klayton was a storm, and she was the rainbow that followed the chaos. Moving into the small town of Myersdale to start her first year of University, Adira has no idea what destiny has in store for her. She expected the crazy parties, the relentless homework, and all of the sleepless nights. Adira Hayes did not expect him. Throw in some curses, a few witches, and a psycho Moon Goddess... you get to ride alongside Adira's greatest adventure. *THIS IS NOT A STEREOTYPICAL WEREWOLF BOOK. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!* 18+ | BOOK #1 OF THE LUNAR CYCLE SERIES. #1 HIGHEST RANKING IN HUMAN (09/24/20) #1 HIGHEST RANKING IN MATE (09/16/20) #1 HIGHEST RANKING IN HOT (07/05/20) #1 HIGHEST RANKING IN GODS (10/11/20) #1 HIGHEST RANKING IN WITCH (05/03/20) #1 HIGHEST RANKING IN FUNNY (11/03/20) #2 HIGHEST RANKING IN LOVE (08/05/20) #2 HIGHEST RANKING IN WOLF (03/28/20) #2 HIGHEST RANKING IN MAGIC (09/20/20) #2 HIGHEST RANKING IN PARANORMAL (07/01/20) #3 HIGHEST RANKING IN SUPERNATURAL (07/31/20)

DURABLE (completed) by SaugiaNSmiles

"Keith and I watched in awe and joy as the inexplicable happened. Nikki was alive! My mate was back! Then suddenly, those brown eyes I loved so much started morphing. Her right eye lightened and became as golden as mine after I shifted into my wolf. While her left eye deepened and became black before turning blood red like Keith's right before he feeds. It was unfeasible but there she laid a vampire-werewolf hybrid." Nicolette Winspere always felt out of step with the world around her and for good reasons. She is a genetically engineered Vampire-Werewolf hybrid but she has no idea! Created as the ultimate weapon, Nicolette is a timid African American woman caught in the middle of a deadly war between humans and non-humans. The humans want her to destroy their natural enemies the vampires and werewolves; while her creator wants to use her to avenge an over 2 millennia-year old slight. After narrowly escaping the clutches of her "parents", she begins a new life with no intentions of looking back. However, after 5 years of freedom, her hybrid genes start attacking her human ones forcing her to do the one thing she swore never to do...return to where it all began. Upon her arrival home, Nicolette finds herself in a desperate fight to keep her life, her freedom, and her humanity all while dealing with the unexpected re-appearance of an old flame. Truths will come to light, the inexplicable will happen, and monsters will be birthed!

The Eldritch Trials by kullman

Mac has to save the world and complete the Eldritch Trials to prevent unspeakable horrors from escaping the netherworld. That's going to be complicated considering everyone thinks the Chosen One is his cousin, and he's already dying from at least three curses. This is fine. Magical fantasy/satire. This is kind of a parody of chosen one/fantasy genre's. Basically if you want a Harry-Potter esque magical world, but narrated like the Percy Jackson books, not unlike What We Do in the Shadows level satire, then this is for you. Trigger/Content Warning: a character experiences severe suicidal ideation through first person narrative. Adoption issues are discussed at length.

The Story That Has Everything (A Parody) - COMPLETED by SkyDancer

You want it all? And you want it now? Players? Vampires? Werewolves? Nerds and Jocks? Rockstars? Princesses? Kidnappers? Falling in love with your best friend? This short story has everything you're wishing for! Come in! Let's play: Spot the cliché! (Attention: Parody ahead. Read at your own risk.)

The Adventures Of An Aromantic Asshole (In A Shockingly Cliché World) by Quack_Theory

Okay. So, let's all just agree that some stories can be pretty cliché, right. I mean - do you wanna tell me you never been reading a story and thought "yo, what the hell, that makes no sense, people don't act like that in real life, what's up with the cliché thing, damn."? Yeah, it's that feeling we're going against here. So this THING, whatever it is, will feature all your good ol' clichés, but from an aromantics point of view. Or just call it a parody or something, I dunno. You do you. Nice talking to ya. Same time next week?

Breaking Walls with the Beta {Book 1} by kaitlynlovesbooks

Luna the rule breaker, but also a girl with many secrets. Follow her life as she has fun, falls in love; while the past tries to haunt her. Oh an one last thing, she a werewolf so everything just got 10 times fucking harder. The book has mild cursing that shouldn't be repeated if under the age of 14. So be warned. "I'll never understand girls." "Try having a mate."

Rise of the Werechipmunks (ONC 2022) by TenaciousPterodactyl

Losing your soulmate to a herd of bloodthirsty chipmunks is never a good way to start your day. Not learning his name before his untimely decapitation? That's even worse. Wattpad-obsessed Sophie has never been in love. When a handsome new student proclaims his love for her after one conversation, she's delighted. Apparently, he's a werewolf (score!) and she's his soulmate. But before she can ask whether he's a possessive billionaire like all proper werewolves, he gets eaten by rodents. Very big, hungry rodents. Stuck in the center of the centuries-old battle between werewolves and werechipmunks, Sophie will do her best to stay alive, fall in love, and maybe even conquer a chipmunk or too along the way.

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Slide 1 of 10

The Billionaire Mafia Boss Alpha Bad Boy and Me cover

Forrest Green cover

Let's Go For A Pint (Vampire/Humor) cover

Alpha Klayton | ✔️ cover

DURABLE (completed) cover

The Eldritch Trials cover

The Story That Has Everything (A Parody) - COMPLETED cover

The Adventures Of An Aromantic Asshole (In A Shockingly Cliché World) cover

Breaking Walls with the Beta {Book 1} cover

Rise of the Werechipmunks (ONC 2022) cover

The Billionaire Mafia Boss Alpha Bad Boy and Me

A parody... except it slowly gets less satirical as I get way too attached to the characters and turn the story into a shipping-fest "Why are you doing this?" I whispered. He slammed me against another locker. I could see anger, sadness, envy, happiness and lust in his teal green orbs. "Because you're mine." He smirked, gnashing his teeth against mine. Brynn Winters is a 17 year old good girl. She is sweeter than sugar. She is also sarcastic and quirky and innocent and naive and snarky and is a bookworm and not like other girls. She also has trauma to (barely) compensate for her lack of personality. She believes in love but she has never experienced any, until she met him. Ryder Daniels is a 18 year old bad boy. He is sweeter than sin. He is dark and mysterious and plays football (not shown in book). He smokes and drinks beer. He is a ladies' man and a player. He has walls around his heart and some dark secrets that is definitely not spoiled in the title. He does not believe in love. Brynn and Ryder are opposites. So what happens when they meet? He is not who she thinks he is. Will it end in disaster? Or will it end in love? Will it end in flames? Or will it end in a different kind of flame? As disasters come their way, will they choose love or not love? Will their secrets drive them apart? Or will they trust in each other? Join them on their journey of love. There will be love, annoying sluts, conversations that doesn't pass the Bechdel test, cliche tropes, glaring plot holes, subtly glaring plot holes, socialism, orbs, humor, secondhand embarrassment and the tiniest hints of homoeroticism. Reviews (aka criticisms that I'm too lazy to correct): "From a horribly done parody to horribly done leftist propaganda." "Brynn and Ryder are the most frustrating couple I've ever read." "Where humor" "You can't use parody as an excuse for bad writing, you know."