FIVE YEARS. From: Now

"The human race was built of the foundation of our progression, it's instinct, but what we progress in is up to every individual.

Another thought: We as a people are so damn stubborn that most of the time we have to learn from our own mistakes before believing anybody else when they say something's not a good idea. I think that part of everyone is just ingrained in our DNA.

Thought number two: People are wild and unpredictable and the relationships that we create and the bridges we burn are all in the unconscious search for the meaning of our lives and what comes after them.

I don't want to live my life always questioning the choices I do or don't make, second guessing every step I take and whether or not it's in the right direction. When I want to live, I just want to live fully, but I spend a lot of time wondering if it would be better if I wasn't. I think about how my life is practically insignificant. Who would care if a young girl living in the desert, hardly surviving, just... disappeared? I want to be happy but I keep getting in the way of my own happiness. Where am I going to be in five years? If I make it."

-

I finished the last sentence and the clacking of my fingers on the keys of my laptop stopped, leaving an empty silence in the dimly lit room. I sighed and snapped the lid of the computer closed quickly, as if I was disgusted with it. My face scrunched and my jaw clenched as I recalled particularly distainful memories. I shook my head in a feeble attempt to rid my mind of them as if I were an etch-a-sketch.

I sat up and reached over to set my laptop on the nightstand; I knew it was past my bedtime.

I fumbled with my phone and with a soft buzz it turned on. The bright screen shone up at me almost accusingly, 12:00 AM. It was later then I had anticipated.

I was going on a drive anyway.

I pulled a hoodie on, grabbed my keys and left, not knowing what I'd end up doing or where I was headed. Just like my life.