Albus Dumbledore didn't feel like he was living at all, his plans destroyed by his family's situation and his responsibility over them as the eldest sibling. He just wished that something destroyed his fears of flying and allowed him to let go from his chains and leave to live at least a little. And somehow, that was when Gellert Grindewald appeared to take him off his feet and allow him to jump higher than he thought possible. But all that comes up, Albus learned, had to come down. (My take on how Albus and Gellert met, how they fell in love, developed a relationship, and turned away from each other after what happened to Ariana)