Pessimism

"I thinking I'm falling out of love". It continues to play in my head over and over. Its been 2 months and I'm still not ever you. I'm still in love. I still think about you and your well being. My heart is literally torn out my chest. I'm desperate. Im drinking... constantly.. everyday just to somewhat ease this horrible pain in my heart. I don't want to feel it. I take pills. Everyday. I wanna be numb. Numb to everything. I can't eat.. sleep. All I think about is you and I hate it. You were the love of my life. You were the one that wasn't suppose to hurt me, was suppose to protect me. Everything I thought you wouldn't do you did and I don't know how to live with it. I don't think I'll ever get over you.